I'm Sorry

I am not God
I do not know
what is going on
but I love you so

with social anxiety
It is hard to think of words
I want to say something
but it comes out absurd

I used to be able
to talk freely with you
now everything I say
sounds fake and untrue

I am telling the truth
but I cannot make it flow
now I am lashing out
at things I do not know

It can be tough
to hold it all in
when I feel like you hate me
but I cannot judge sin

for weeks I have been
so calm and collected
even though I really need
us to be connected

now I have gone and let
my anger get the best of me
although inside your feelings
I cannot see

I should not judge you
I should not get mad
I should just remember
all the issues you have had

I will get right back
whatever I put out
so I guess I will just smile
instead of sweat and shout

I am sorry for the poem
I am sorry for the texts
I was happier sitting waiting
not trying to call what happens next