I liked the predator and prey part the best, it flowed very well and it was easy to read because of that, very good poem

your servant:
atticus

I really like this poem, it's well thought out and the gambling jargon adds a certain edge to the whole piece.
I like the repetition on the first stanza throughout, gives it something to join your other stanza's up.

My main concern is with your 5th stanza. The words in this stanza are brilliant, but the structure worries me. You have 17 syllables in your first line of that stanza, most of the lines in your other stanza's have between 7 - 10.

I love how the rhyme scheme is for this stanza but i think the con's of this structure outweigh the pro's.

Obviously only my personal opinion though.

With the smallest bit of work it would be a 5 in my eyes.

Nice work overall.
[4/5]

Hey
i think that this piece is another awesome one, again just like a song. it flows really well and the emotions are clear... good stuff there
it kinda reminds me of motorhead's 'ace of spades' in a way, sooo good!!! 5/5 defo