Living together forever

Is it normal to live in one home with your boyfriend when you are 6 months together? He asked me if I wanted to live with him in one home.. It was a strange time.. Cause before he thought about living with me forever. He was in panic about his life about everything how he has to fix everything, school work etc etc.. I stood by him and tried to let him relax and told him that everything would be okay! After that he told me that he saw how much I love him cause I was there for him till the end. And how much he actually loves me. That was the moment he asked me to live with him.. Well I like the idea of being with him forever. Cause Im almost every night with him and sleep most of the time in his student room.. At the same it scares me to make that one big step.. But yeahh my grandmother left her home to me when she died. So the house is standing there for us to change it and to live in. Does anyone have advice?

I would so no, you shouldn't live with him.. only because you don't seem like you're ready. If you were, you wouldn't be asking. :)

I lived with my ex after 3 months of dating and it didn't work out. I am living with my fiance now and have been basically since the beginning of our relationship (I stayed the night and never really went home... lol just brought my stuff over little by little). I "officially" moved in after 6 months.

If you're not ready, don't get pressured or rushed into it because he wants to. It is a big step, but make it on your own, not with his influence.

Well there is one positive thing, I dont have to take is like its official .. Cause its a home that wont be any different without moving in it. And my room at my parent wont be removed, And my boyfriend doesnt want to lose his student room. So its more of trying to make a living home of it. Living together.. So I like to try it. But I just hope it wont tear us apart.. All though its getting better than at the beginning. We fought almost every day, cause he lives in another way than me. And now we dont fight that much. Well sometimes but you cant really call it a fight.. So I guess we have accepted each other. At least a lot..

It can work, but I would say that you should sit down and have a talk about some things.

1. Finances. Can you afford to live together? Do you spend and save money in the same ways? It might be different if you were renting, but keep a potential breakup in mind. A good friend of mine had been living with a guy for three years, when he broke up with her suddenly. They had shared bank accounts and had co-signed on the lease. She couldn't afford to move out and pay rent in two different places, so she was stuck living with him for another several months.

2. Make sure your perceptions of what it means to "live together" line up. Some people treat it casually or practically, some as almost a practice marriage. If you're expecting different things out of it, that might cause some tension.

3. Housework duties, etc

Yeah, it's kind of the buzzkill stuff, but you have to be open about it if you want it to work. Any little things that bug you about your relationship now will be escalated by living together. I think really having an open conversation about it is important.

I guess I would wait for your relationship to settle a bit, and see if you're both still interested in living together when it's not coming right after an emotional time.

Yes, we have talked about finance, and we are starting now to try to make sure we have enough money to buy food every week and what we need, its not a huge step, but its something. And that I will eat at his place everyday. I agree with that.. He shouldnt want to move in with me. Because of some emotional time. I will see and wait for how long he actually means it to live with me, and how he sees the things that has to be done.

You will eat at his place every day... if he lived with you?

Color me confused.

Yeah diner? in his student room its his place where he lives ;p

"And that I will eat at his place everyday."

But if you lived together.... wouldn't it be home? Maybe I'm not getting this... why would he still have his student room if he moved in with you?

I'm at a bit of a loss here and am utterly confused.

I really don't think this is something you should consider. Putting 'forever' on living arragements to me says that there's a 'fantasy' world speaking there over 'reality'. That on it's own says perhaps you should really really look at things and be truthful with yourself. Not everything is forever and right now you're blinded by the 'newness' of your relationship. That's not to say it wouldn't work, but i would strongly advise you to work on building your relationship before complicating it further with moving in together and juggling finances.

Moving in together is a huge step, with your relationship being so fresh it worries me on how you'll be able to handle your first big big big 'home' fight. It also sounds like you both are in school right now. Are you sure it's wise to complicate your life by living with him? By adding an additional element on top of your school work. Do you honestly feel that you'll still apply yourself 110% to your school work if he lives with you? Chances are he will get on your nerves, there will be things about him that you don't see now that you will see by living with him. Perhaps he's a messy person, perhaps you'll start getting really sick and tired of cleaning up after him (not to say this will for sure happen but the possibility is there), or say he doesn't put down the seat (yes this can be a big issue). He expects you to cook etc.

I'd think of doing a few trial runs with his student housing right now. Truly look at how he lives and understand that will be the same when you live with him.. Get a feel for how he lives overall, if you'll share responsibilities of house cleaning, cooking and maintenance.

That's not to say this isn't manageable, but I always feel a relationship should have a solid foundation before taking such big steps. Before you say yes, you need to lay out the pros and cons, and what exactly this will mean for you. Rent will be about $300/month/person (pending on where you live) then you have to factor in cable, internet, laundry if it's not in your place, utilities, if he has a car: gas, groceries. Also if neither of you have furniture you'll have to factor in buying that and who will be buying what.

Living together is a big step. I think it's normal to 'wonder' what the best decision is. However, no one truly knows what's best for you or your situation but you.