I think you need to kiss a few frogs to find your prince. Treat every failed relationship as a learning curve where you are learning about yourself, your likes and dislikes and how you do and don't want to be treated. There are several things that I did to ensure that I found my perfect man.
Based on what I learnt from past mistakes I wrote a list of my minimum essential requirements so that I knew if a new boyfriend didn't fulfil all of them I would never be happy with him. So for me my list was simple.
A mutual physical attraction, kind to others, honest and respectful. Common sense, good money management, sense of humour, accepts
me for myself without wanting to change me, Non aggressive yet manly and not a walk over able to hold his own in a discussion, able to compromise, doesn't drink or gamble excessively, likes travelling abroad, loves movies and sci fi series. must like dogs.
That might seem like a long list but I knew that
if the man I was going to spend the rest of my life with didn't full fill all of those requirements I would never be truly happy because those are the minimum qualities of what I need in my life. In return he gets the same - Respect, kindness, wont try and change him, compromise etc
Anyone I met who didn't fulfil all of those requirements would never give me the happiness that I was looking for so was not worth dating.
It was really important to just be myself, open and honest because I wanted my dream man to love me for me not for someone he thought I was and equally important for them to be themselves too.
Even if they seem to be kind and decent and everything on your list, Observe their behaviour how do they behave to other people, friends, family and strangers. is there behaviour consistent in the way he treats you? Is he kind and helpful to you but wont lift a hand to help anyone else? Does any of his behaviours set off warning bells or remind you of someone you may have dated in the past? If so he probably isn't genuine. Does he fulfil everything on your list? If not no matter how gorgeous he is he wont make you happy
Happiness comes in varying degrees. Some people are happy being with someone they love even if he doesn't make them happy. There are rollercoaster relationships that bounce from being on happy highs to miserable lows and they can become addictive because even though most of the time life is hell the highs when it is good is what is worth waiting for. Some people will even accept unfaithfulness.
In short different people look for different things in a relationship. You have to decide what it is that you want in a relationship and aim for that.
Also a mistake people often make is to look at every interaction or hang out as a potential partner. Think of the opposite sex as a potential friend and get to know them first.
I am fortunate that I found my soul mate an he is everything on my list but I didn't find him until I was in my forties. I know a lot of women in their forties finding soul mates after bad relationships. Often with guys who have never been married
So I wonder perhaps when we are younger we get tempted by partners who are a little bit reckless, different or exiting and get treated badly and then as we get older and wiser realise that the nice shy guys who maybe were not so appealing when we were younger actually turn out to be really nice guys who are everything that we could have dreamed of.. (works both ways girls and boys)