Terrible jokes

  • CJ Maleney
    3 months ago

    1.The egg and the chicken are laying in bed.

    Chicken is quite happily puffing on a cigarette.

    Egg grabs the duvet rolls over and says

    "Well at least we answered that f#@€ing question"

  • mossgirl19 replied to CJ Maleney
    3 months ago

    Hahaha. Terribly ridiculous.

  • CJ Maleney replied to mossgirl19
    3 months ago

    ;-)

  • CJ Maleney
    3 months ago

    Mother superior and a young novice are taking a stroll through the park, when the stumble across a naked man sitting on a bench, entertaining himself !ahem!

    The young novice runs up to him whips off her head dress and uses it to finish the job for him.

    Horrified ! Mother superior shouts

    "Sister for the love of god what are you doing"

    The novice replies,

    "I'm sorry mother superior it's just force of habit"

  • CJ Maleney
    3 months ago

    An old blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake...
    He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels.
    After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, 'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?'

    The bar immediately falls absolutely silent.

    In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, 'Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things:

    1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.

    2. The bouncer is a blonde girl with a 'Billy-Club'.

    3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.

    4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter.

    5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.
    'Now, think about it seriously, Cowboy... Do you still wanna tell that blonde joke?'

    The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters, 'No... not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times.'

  • mossgirl19 replied to CJ Maleney
    3 months ago

    Hahaha...I really loved the last joke here...thanks for sharing!

  • mossgirl19
    3 months ago

    Found this...

    Three nuns are sitting on a park bench.
    A man comes up and exposes himself to them.
    Two of them have a stroke. But the third one couldn't reach.

  • Ben Pickard
    3 months ago

    What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?
    A stick

  • CJ Maleney replied to Ben Pickard
    3 months ago

    Classic

  • CJ Maleney replied to mossgirl19
    3 months ago

    Brilliant lol

  • CJ Maleney
    3 months ago

    What do you call a man with no arms and legs in the ocean

    BOB

    What do you call a man with no arms and legs swimming in the ocean

    Clever d!(k

  • mossgirl19 replied to CJ Maleney
    3 months ago

    Hahaha lol

  • mossgirl19
    2 months ago

    What's blue and smells like red paint?

    Blue Paint

  • mossgirl19
    2 months ago

    How does a train eat?

    It goes chew,chew, chew.

    *So terrible I actually laughed at this.*

  • CJ Maleney replied to mossgirl19
    2 months ago

    Love it

  • CJ Maleney replied to mossgirl19
    2 months ago

    I knew what the punch line was gonna be and I still laughed

  • mossgirl19
    2 months ago

    Man to a butcher: "I'd like bull's testicles."

    Butcher: "So would I"

    ;-)

  • mossgirl19
    2 months ago

    What’s black, red, black, red, black, red?
    -
    A zebra with a sun burn.

  • CJ Maleney replied to mossgirl19
    2 months ago

    Love it

    What's red white, red white,

    Me with sun burn lol

  • CJ Maleney
    2 months ago

    What's black white and read all over?

    A pissed panda with a switch blade.

    OK so I had to change this as its a very verbal joke.

    Most people say a news paper

  • mossgirl19 replied to CJ Maleney
    2 months ago, updated 2 months ago

    Craig with a sunburn haha that made my day!

    I would love to see a pissed panda, haha.

    Why aren't people posting in here anyway...hehe. I hope they do.

  • CJ Maleney
    2 months ago

    What's black white and read all over?

    A chopped up nun

    Sorry I couldn't resist

  • CJ Maleney
    2 months ago, updated 2 months ago

    A panda bear goes for a night out,

    After a an hour or so a young blonde walks up and asks if she can join him,

    After drinking and chatting she suggests they go back to hers and he agrees.

    Once they've finished having sex the girl asks for £50

    "What" says the panda.

    She replies " I'm a prostitute look it up in the dictionary"

    He does

    Prostitute:-has sex for money.

    Ah says the panda "I'm a panda bear maybe you should look that up in the dictionary"

    She does

    Panda bear :-eats shoots and leaves

  • mossgirl19 replied to CJ Maleney
    2 months ago

    Hahaha...

  • CJ Maleney replied to mossgirl19
    2 months ago

    It's bad but one of my favorites

    Craig

  • CJ Maleney
    2 months ago

    Paddy and Murphy are waking through a field,

    Paddy falls down a big ditch

    "Snap" "scream"

    He shouts up from the ditch,

    "Murphy I've broken my ankle call me an ambulance"

    Murphy

    "Paddy is an ambulance, Paddy is an ambulance, Paddy is an ambulance"