A Bird

by Katherine   Feb 9, 2008


A bird is chirping
He found his true love
Her singing drove him nuts
The way she flapped her wings delighted him very much
He wanted to confess to her all the love he held inside
But it was to late the love of his life had flown away

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Latest Comments

  • 18 years ago

    by erin girl

    I agree with Letty, this is a beautiful concept, your on your way to creating a wonderful piece of writing. Using the birds kind of as a metaphore. Like when you said the love has already flown away. I really like it!
    Keep up the good work
    *E

  • 18 years ago

    by Letty

    This has a very beautiful concept, but it could use a little more depth added to it. You also need to tighten up the flow a bit.; but since you are a new member and/or beginning poet, I think you did good. I would consider this as being my first draft. After editing and of course adding punctuation, I'm sure this poem will be excellent. Good job and welcome to TOCC! I am kind of swamped right now with a few things, but when I have time I will send you out an official welcome message.

    Letty