This was great. It's good to strike out on your own, to find your place in the world, live your dreams, but it's also good to know you have a place to go back to, a home, where you know you are welcomed and loved. The flow was good, as were the rhymes. I really liked the metaphores. I think you did a great job! Awsome write!
Wow I can totally relate to this. I usually think of what I'm going through in a negative way but this poem kind of makes me think of it differently. Thank you. I especially love the last stanza. Rhyme (as usual!) was spot on and the flow was absolutely fabby. Another 5/5 from me,
Let me start with - this is a GREAT poem. You did a wonderful job and I see no grammar mistakes or anything through-out it. (:
It will mean so much to so many people, because it's so easy to relate to. . . and in a way that doesn't matter, because it's YOUR poem. But, I just find it refreshing to know I'm not the only one going through the things life disses out.
Well, even with the perfection through-out the poem. . . There's still one thing , I believe could be better and that's :
"But it's time to go home. "
Maybe try to make it " But it's time that I go home"
that, just sounds better to me. Now, it's your poem and it will NOT hurt my feelings the least bit if you don't agree, it's just a suggestion.
Wow, this is a great poem, i like the perfectly timed rhymes, well chosen words and at one time in life, almost everybody can relate to this.. I stay away from home 80% of my life.. Really love your work, keep it up