Drown In The Rain

by Mandy   Mar 4, 2008


Dragged across the dirty floor
Cries of desperation
No one hears her screams
Because she's half way across the nation.

Fingernails squeal across the tile
Stomach clenches from the smell of blood
Pictures flash through her mind
Thoughts drown her like a flood.

Weak and tired
Due to hunger and thirst
Left in a room
To fear the worst.

Five candles lit up the room
A small bed sat to her right
Pure instinct led her to believe
There would be no sleeping tonight.

A stranger and a knife
And one final cry
Then left in the moonlight
Alone there to die.

Crippled, dreaming
Hoping for death
Whispers goodbye
While gasping for breathe.

Her eyes burned with tears
As she finished the pain
She stared at the black sky
As she drowned in the rain.

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Armada the Gestalt

    Very good use of tension! My stomach was tensed from reading this, bravo.

    I like the 'fingernails squealing' line, really harsh.

    'While gasping for breathe.' However should be 'breath' because 'breathe' is said 'breeth' and is the adjective not the noun.

    Despite that little slip up, nice job. =)

  • 16 years ago

    by Blackstar

    It's a beautifull poem
    really great , keep writing like that,,

    5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by Jessica

    Excellent. Very clever. I like this style of writing. You must be a great thinker. Be careful as to where your mind takes you, as mine has taken me to quite a few frightening places.

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