Comments : Me in the Meltdown

  • 16 years ago

    by *Charisma*

    I really enjoyed the last few lines of this the most! The second half of the first stanza seemed slightly off in the flow, but other than that, i think you described your feelings well in this piece. I like how it wasn't boring, and it didn't drag on.
    Charisma*

  • 16 years ago

    by Ike Dizzle

    Dang. First I'm gonna say thanks for the comment and there isn't alot of guys on here that's for sure. But that piece you read was me releasing my feelings. It was crap to me lol. But getting to your poem. That was awesome. I mean it's like it has a great flow going on. You make it seems as if your reader is really there. Awesome job.
    5/5
    -vino

  • 16 years ago

    by Lu

    Bradley .... wow I must say! You have created such incredible visuals in this piece.

    My knees are weak
    From this pressure they built
    My shoulders are shaking
    From this tower of guilt
    ^^^
    Really liked this part ... especially the last line!

    After reading this piece "The Breakdown" totally came to mind.

    Your rhyme scheme very unique and quite mesmerizing. A very difficult rhyme pattern to follow I'm sure ... but it flowed wonderfully!

    My tears are falling
    As I lie on the floor
    So beaten, so damaged
    From this inward war
    ^^^
    The ending ties in with the title perfectly ...
    Great read Bradley!

    Luanne

  • 15 years ago

    by X Harlea X

    Very good.keep it up!5/5
    **harlea