Ok, this is going to be an honest comment, and trust me I'm one of these people that are picky about poetry and not impressed that easily. I've found one thing that I have nominated so far and even then it wasn't up to the writer's usualy standard. Please do not be offended in anyway, I doubt you will but most people probably might. Ah well, they need to learn to take it in stride.

Once the person, writer, estblishes that the writing is in first point of view, the first time they mentioned the word I, there really is no sense in repeating it as all it does is pound in the readers head that the narrator is indeed talking, and it takes away from the poem's purpose, to inform or to entertain; even a mixture of both. Just remember you don't want to poke an eye with too many I's. Also, you lack serious description, it's okay to be straight forward if this is a narrative poem, Is it? It might be?, but if you really want to make it stand out you need to add some passion, some depth. You don't need fancy words to spice it up but even of this poem is not true, please as a reader make me believe it's true and then hit me with a author's note stating it was just an imagination, let me soak in the details not come right out and say them so they barely stick in the reader's mind.

"You fill me up and yet you take away
You make me whole, yet you make me hollow." I read this but I can not feel this. I can not feel the pain that this narrator feels from the self-drug induced high and then I can not feel the hollowness of the let down and the realization of what the narrator is a person. "It gives me color, then turns it to gray" I read this but I can not see this: Describe the color that the person feels inside of them: Warmth as a flame slowly igniting then left to die in it's soft embers? Painted as though an artisist as left the narrator out to dry then slowly fade into the nothingness of a hollow shell; abandonded and dead inside their eyes?

Make the reader truley feel it and GASP when they find out you're just a writer sitting in the room typing this out and then let them understand your true message you are s ending out or basking in the rays of your entertainment.

What did Ilike about this poem: That you were brave enough to tackle a not to often talked about subject, even with no prior experience in this subject at all. The non forced rhymes, and the even flow throughout your poem, the structure in itself, while not flawless I mean what is exactly flawless in it's own mind, but grand all the same. The first pragraph: That the drug feeds the mind but in the end that the narrator knows that most likely they would die from this same drug.

Well, I know you wrote this about drug addiction, but for some reason I kept thinking you were talking about a guy. Like the guy is your addiction. I'm weird. >.> I write things that don't really apply to me all the time. I just get inspiration and BAM there's a poem. Haha. So I can relate in that area. I can also relate to what the poem is about, just not drugs. My addiction was cutting, but I overcame it. It's been about a year. :]

I thought that the rhymes seemed a little forced, but the flow was pretty good. I really liked your word choice. It made the poem seem more real somehow. You captured the feelings of an addict very well for someone who hasn't had problems with it. Great job!

Keep writing!
Cayce

The poem was okay but i think it would mean more if it was something you actually went through.
Because it would have more meaning and people could relate to it more.
xx