I gave your first peom a 4 and i gave this one a 5, this one flows smoothly together and is very touching

I may have found a small mess up though

in the second or third to last segment you have: together were

should it be? together where

or maybe i could suggest

you have:

the nights when we
together were
when we just had
nothing to care

nights when we were
together where
we just had
nothing to care

gr8 poem keep up the good work

Realy great poem, nice one :-)

i like your variant Randy.
i don't know if what i wrote is correct in English. "together were". what i mean to say is "when we were together" but i couldn't find a better sentence topic (my English knowledge has some limits... for the moment)

exceptional poem with fantastic rhyming style, iliked this alot!