Wow! once again your imagery so vivid. it is absolutely amazing what you do with words. I satnd in awe at the beauty your poems. I am very sorry about your friend and i have just lost a friend to a disease. So i know about the deathe of a loved one but the way you portray it. It is just... i dont know a word to describe it... but it is perfect...

This poem seaps emotion. i love it
5/5

-Syn

First off, the title really caught my attention. It is effective and unqiue.

You put a lot of emotions in this piece and I could actually feel everything that you expressed which was absolutely amazing.

I like the metaphors in this poem, along with your superb choice of words. You are really talented writer and your skills simply shine through this poem. The atmosphere that you created through the whole poem is overwhelming, but in a good way- it pulls the reader so deep in the poem.

The thing that impressed me the most about this poem is the imagery that you created in both stanzas. Every line floods the mind with so vivid pictures. Your descriptions are breathtaking, very original and creative.

The only thing I didn't like is flow on some places, for example, the stanza break "already stiffening; our veins" threw me off a bit but that is only my personal opinion.

I had to highlight the ending line "Let us eclipse"- three words, but they left great impression on me. Endlessly brilliant ending line.

Great write!
5/5 from me

I lot of emotion was expressed within this poem. It was quite deep and powerful. You held alot of beauty within this saddening piece.

The title was interesting. I liked it. It caught my attention. Quite unique.

The flow was off to me in a few places, I think some of the words you placed together didn't flow together nicely. They just didn't roll off the tounge.

The description and choice of metaphors were great. I think your word choice was stunning when it created a beautiful flow. The ending was effective and left me stunned.

Overall a good piece.
~Mel

Wow this is powerful!
i love the words you put in here! it really sets the mood, great writing!

I love it.. very emotional...