Comments : Only At Night.

  • 12 years ago

    by Feels Like Ecstacy

    This is a really good poem. If I interpreted it right, I understand how you feel, kind of waiting for him to make the decision to stay or go...

  • 12 years ago

    by robin milford

    Amazing poem lots of emotion I could picture this as it unfolded. beautifully done

  • 12 years ago

    by BrokenREALiTy

    You drift with amongst the wind, through my open window.
    `Grammar -- either choose "with the wind" or "amongst" the wind. Both the words together just don't make sense. But the image your grasping for, I do like.

    The breeze: it sinks, holding your insecurities, your pain and your resistance.
    `It feels a tad bit too long, and a bit weak.

    Surrounding the stars, the moonlight wraps and catches in my mind.
    I feel you near, only in the night.
    `I adore the first line -- but "catches" pokes fun at the flow a bit. The picture it paints is beautiful, though. But I feel like the second line just shoves it.

    The sound of your voice, drifts through me.
    When I lay with my head on your chest, you heart was in my ear.
    The beat of your existence.
    `I fancy this stanza. It's cliche, and yet it doesn't seem too cliche. It just works.

    I'd capture the memories; of your kiss, your hurt and your goodbye.
    And I'd watch them fall away, but only to feel you close again.
    `Scratch that -- I adore these lines MORE. You started okay, and as the poem reads on, your words grow stronger. These were just gorgeous and such a universal feeling that many hold onto. I also like how you included "your hurt, and your goodbye" because most of the time, those are the memories that people want to let go of, not keep.

    I've felt your grip loosen, I've watched you turn away.
    Now I'd love you alone, waiting for another day.
    `For some reason, I think it should be "Now I love you alone." I'm not sure though; all this poetry is frying my brain a bit.

    Only at night did I wait for you.
    Unsure of how you felt, but afraid of letting go.
    `The ending is strong, but I feel that it can be stronger.

    Overall, it was a good, just not great piece. I do like it -- maybe a few reviews here and there and it'll be amazing. Once it hit the middle though, I loved it.

    --..MiNDYY

  • 12 years ago

    by Sarah

    Nice. This is such a good poem. Filled with sensation and passion. great choice of words as well. 5/5

  • 12 years ago

    by Sarah

    Nice. This is such a good poem. Filled with sensation and passion. great choice of words as well. 5/5

  • 12 years ago

    by BeMusEd

    A very amazing poem... As a reader I also do feel the pain of the writer.. Keep it up..

  • 12 years ago

    by miracle

    I love this amazing

  • 12 years ago

    by MeltInHisArms

    I luv this poem! so beautiful! going on my favs.!!

  • 12 years ago

    by Boy

    Such nice piece of work you put here.

    Only at night did I wait for you.
    Unsure of how you felt, but afraid of letting go.

    these are my favourite lines.

  • 12 years ago

    by osmish

    Good work, but don't wait only at night try to wait everytime

  • 12 years ago

    by minh

    Awe... that's when i miss my girl the most... at night. i liked this one :]

  • Wow, talk about speakin right to my heart! great job!
    and i'm 100% with Alone, i love these lines:

    Only at night did I wait for you.
    Unsure of how you felt, but afraid of letting go.

    i can't wait to read more of your work.

  • 12 years ago

    by Pamela G

    It is very nice. Keep it up.

  • 12 years ago

    by Switchblade89

    Wow...I love the flow of the whole poem, it worked out nicely. keep it up

  • 12 years ago

    by samantha

    This is a rly good poem, i rly felt sumthan. keep up the goodwork
    5/5

  • 12 years ago

    by Alexandraa

    I love this poem :- ) , Especially the ending bit . Your writing is amazing . Thanks for commenting . Take care . XX