The poem was great wonderful the flow had no flaws but some their were some choice of words that 2 me killed it.. like

They don't know it rehearsed, Taken straight from a book.

the rehearsed and book

but thats just me great poem 5/5

So true! You wrote it all with such ease that it all flowed together flawlessly. I loved your use of words "babe, sweetie, and sunshine" It added a lot to the poem and the mood would be incomplete without those words in there. The imagery was right on and the emotions were just so real. You descibed the life of Stardom perfectly and it was just heartbreaking to read. The last line of the piece was flawless and ended the poem perfectly.

Well done *5/5*

Look around you sunshine, Look what you've created,
A chaos ridden atmosphere is just an understatement.
`Amazing hook. The word choice is just BRiLLiANT -- clever and makes me read it in a mocking tone. Use of "sunshine" in the first line, and then "chaos" int he second. The image I begin to illustrate in my mind is pretty(:

Your need for perfection in a rock and roll life,
Will cost you your freedom, Addiction to the knife.
`Ah, the only thing I don't like, is the choice of rhyme. Just sounds so peculiar to me and not quite right.

Keep your smile sweetie, You're going to need it,
Now flaunt for the camera, Insecurities so conceited.
`Can I just say right here and now, that I'm not even done with the second stanza and already I'm in love? Second half of the first line here makes me think sarcasm -- and it just makes me smile and laugh at the fact that these lines speak so true.

Share your life story, How your childhood was so tough,
They don't know it rehearsed, Taken straight from a book.
`That second line lost me -- I think too many poems has made my brain malfunction -- but I don't get it. Mind elaborating =_=?

It's time for a disorder babe, You can take your pick,
Depression or bulimia, Popping pills or getting sick?
`OH MY GAAAAAAASH ! My all-time favourite lines , EVER . The ridicule in here just makes me giggle -- though "getting sick" seems a wee bit clumsy. Still, you can't top those lines.

Lovely ending. The last line just wraps it all up -- it's such a delightfully dejected piece. Just stunning, dear. Another spectacular write.

--..MiNDYY

I like the topic of this piece, it is very deep. Whole poem is greatly written. You have very good vocab, your choice of words in every stanza is absolutely amazing.

~Look around you sunshine, Look what you've created,
A chaos ridden atmosphere is just an understatement.~
* I love these lines, there's so much power in them. Greatly said.

~It's time for a disorder babe, You can take your pick,
Depression or bulimia, Popping pills or getting sick?
But you'll have to follow through, And keep the tabloids on track.
'Cause once you enter stardom, Theres no going back. ~
*This is my favorite part of the poem, it is so true and fantastically written.

Overall, you did truly great job with this poem. The flow is also excellent in each individual stanza.

Keep up
*5/5*

There were things I really loved about this poem, and there were some things which I didn't particularly enjoy.

First of all, I liked the rhyming. I think for the most part, it appears flawless. You rhyme with ease. There was only one part in relation to rhyming that I did not like:

"They don't know it rehearsed, Taken straight from a book."

^^ This doesn't rhyme with the previous line and therefore it messes up the flow of the piece a little bit. What you're trying to say is still perfectly clear, and of course we don't always have to rhyme, but this is a rhyming poem so that line just appears out of place.

The subject of the poem I have some queries about. I understand where you're coming from, but your poem is just one huge stereotype. Of course, for a lot of people in "stardom" then it definitely implies to them, but stardom does not automatically equal this kind of lifestyle: one filled with drugs, drink, and the like. That is due to the individual, and their inability to handle this lifestyle of which they have become accustomed to.

Overall, as a poem, it is definitely well written, I'm just not sure if I agree with it completely.

Interestnig... good job

I guess I missed the whole rhyming thing that Nyell is complaining about, but that's just me.
I mean I've seen poems that one stanza rhymes and the next one doesn't and no one complained then. -=Shrugs=-
Idk, I guess that's just me.

I loved it. Overall, I think you described everything to the last camera snapshot. :] It was perfect, darling.
Lovce you
xxxx
5/5

Excuse me, KindlyUnspoken. Not Nyell.

A simply amazing poem. I can feel that emoiton that makes this poem great.

This was a creative write. i loved it. good detail and the whole thing was quite unique. i love the subject you chose to write about. it's different, and different is good. the flow was fanstastic also. simply a great read. i have no complaints. job well done. 5/5.

-Ashlei.