Why I cant leave you

Sitting here writing a poem,
feeling sad and all alone,
Missing my girl,
but then hating my girl,
only because,, she f**ked up my world,
she tore it apart,
then shattered my heart,
then stuffed it down my throat, and left me to choke,
I led there crying, bloody tears,
trying to stop,
but its been so many years,
I can't picture myself, with another,
only because, she's my baby's mother.
We been together, threw hell and back,
It's hard to leave her, do you understand that?
She beat me up, I stood there and took it,
I punched her once, she fell down and booked it,
she told me she seen lighting,
ever since then,
I appeared to be frighting,
I don't want to harm her, but then I do.
not understanding a f**kin thing about you,
I know you well, off the back of my hand,
to bad you never knew me the same,
cause if you did,
you'd see how much pain,
you caused me,
ever since the first day, just because you know that,
doesn't mean I'm willing to say,
how many times, it really happened,
and on which days,
you hurt me, so I hurt you back,
this is for you, bi**h smoking crack