This wave of clashing memories rides me back to my past. How can I ever forget the truth? From my past obsession; as his best friend and as his love one. He knows that I dont want to ruin our friendship, so I obstructed his feelings for me. But it was a mistake not knowing that Im already falling for him little by little.
One night while Im at the street, silence dominated the place and the wind was strong... and forcing me to look up in the sky. Upon looking, I saw the moon and it reminds me of yesterday I used to know.
We used to call ourselves Luna and Polaris; with Luna as the moon and Polaris, the North Star. Luna and Polaris cant stand on their own. Luna without Polaris is nothing and vise-versa. Calling ourselves that way symbolized how strong our friendship is.
Suddenly, tears run down from my face and returned me to reality.Why am I crying I asked myself, and the night falls with me thinking about before.
Another day shined and again, I saw him at the corridor. How are you? he asked for the second time. But still Im in deep confusion on what will I answer to him because of what Ive done from the past. Those memories still lingers as a conscience. I didnt answer him but I looked steadily at his face. And then he smiled at me. I was motionless and when the time he said goodbye passing at me, I felt deep sadness and regret. I want to go after him; I want to say sorry but how? With this coward ness Im stunned. That day my whole self was void.
Day after day he always addresses me the same thing. Will I be able to answer him? I asked myself. Is he still in love with me? Those questions regained me my courage. For I not to feel so shame and feel sorry for the rest of my life.
It was raining and again I saw him. This is the right time, I should talk to him, I whispered. As I go after him he turned and saw me. And again for a million time he ask me the same thing, the rain stops. Silence suddenly arose but I broke it. Do you still love me? I asked. He looks down and didnt answer for a minute. Thereafter tears shed from his eyes. You know Id love you... with all my heart and soul, but you disregard it instead you think of our friendship not to be ruined, not knowing that you already ruined my life. Tell me should I answer your question? I already have someone, even though Im not so sure about my feelings for her, she still loves me and wait. As time passed us together, slowly myself is falling for her. Now are you happy? Youre my friend, right? Im stunned of what he said but my tears didnt fall.Yes Im happy I said with signs of regret and turned my back at him then run away. The day ended with vain and mourns.
Im walking at the school corridor but he was not there and then someone called my attention. Do you received the news? Youre friend has committed suicide! I didnt take it seriously but all of them are looking at me. It is true! Our friend, youre best friend committed suicide! then the room was filled by mourns. Why? Why would you have to do this!. Lots of momentous moments we shared lingers on my mind. Why would I have to suffer this is this the curse of my cowardness. For all these days, you tried to address me but I was so stupid not to realize your signs, now youre gone how can I tell you that I love you? Then the day ended with bloody valentine.
It was the day I should say goodbye to my best friend. Before cremation start I asked his presence. Who is Luna without Polaris? then darkness dominated my mind and stabbed myself with a knife. It was a deluge, and then a light came while Im unconscious and told me, You deserve to be happy you dont have any mistake, you shouldnt be down I will never forget you my best friend I promise Ill always be at your side...
After all the things happened I stood up and be as happy as what we are. Even though my best friend is not around, I know he'll guide me for the rest of my life.
