Its so symbllic! i love the consistant metaphoric quality that flows throughout the piece. "Seizing her misery etched within grim teeth" gives such an image to the mind, its intrigueing. i love it. =D

Wow! Mel, this is extraordinary piece, it is priceless, you truly impressed me with nearly each line.
I must say that I usually dislike rhymes cause when they are forced they just ruin whole flow but your rhyming here is absolutely wonderful, you have very unique rhyming and that helped you to create interesting and captivating rhythm.
I was captured by your words from first line, every stanza posses same incredible quality, and they make very compact and vivid picture.
You truly have amazing descriptions!

-Whilst thorn jealousy has become so obtained,
Your a moth burning within the scentless flame,-

^I just think that here should be you're and not your

Great choice of words, very unusual and creative subject. I enjoyed a lot! Ending is also excellent and very effective.
Your writing is remarkable and you again left me in awe.

Oh & you say you can't rhyme, pffft. You did just fine hear, my dear. :] They don't come out forced, and they weren't boring or ordinary at all. I love it.
Anyway, the first stanza sucked me in straight away. You created such a strong emotional pull right from the beginning and described it all so, so well. You introduced what you were talking about well, and I can certainly relate to what you have written without this whole piece.
The second stanza wasn't quite as good, but I don't think anything could be, as I loved it that much. :P But it did explain more to the story behind what you are telling here.
The next stanza is amazing. The words you used here.. I'm just in awe of how you describe it. It makes me feel as though I've been sucked the life out of, and as I said, being in this situation, I know how it feels, and wow, do you describe it well.
The last stanza is beautifully sad, really. I love how without this piece you talk of butterflies and thorns etc. It's a unique way of putting it, and I love your metaphors. The last line finished it more than perfectly. It left me with a bitter taste in my mouth knowing that people hurt others just so that they can feel better about themselves, or just to be entertained, as you said. It's sickening really.

Amazingly powerful peice you have here. It evoked so much emotion within me. That is always what I'm looking for in poetry, and you always do it. 5/5

Tammie xo

Another fantastic poem.

The first stanza is a great introduction. Each line is just so powerful and again.. You have emphasised the meanings of every single word. I am just impressed. You inspire me :) I think your going in my favourite's. Your poems are of a beauty no-one else could possible portray.

XoOrindaryGirloX

Amazing poem from the first to the last line.
Your choice of words is remarkable, so creative and inspiring. Whole atmosphere that you created through each excellently written stanza captured me deeply. Your descriptions are breathtaking, so vivid and original.
I think that you did great job with rhymes which made the flow of the whole poem simply flawless. You used original rhymes which is fantastic. I like the way you portrayed emotions within the poem, too, because every line is truly heartfelt. This piece is an amazing poetic gem.
My favorite stanza is:

- Suck the flutter from tinted wings of glory,
Unraveling your charms within bitter bites,
Tampering the venom to poison her butterfly,
Only you would take away beauty's own rights.-
^^^
So descriptive... wow!

I haven't read your poetry for a while and I really missed beauty and perfection of your verses.
Keep writing!
5/5 from me

Okay the title was just eye-catching and lured me in to read the poem which was great.

1st stanza:
I loved your beginning line .. the word "suck" was just used so amazingly that I would never think to use it in that way. Flawless. This stanza was just perfect in capturing me attention and making me eager to read more.

"Tampering the venom to poison her butterfly,"
^This line was written so flawlessly and naturally that I loved how it rolled off my tongue when I read it out loud. Each word fit nicely with the next and I was hooked to read more.

2nd Stanza:
"Sting" I LOVED that word. It just sounded so harsh when I read it aloud but thats what made it amazing because it fit the whole poem. Your word choice in this stanza was so meaninful and it seems you thoughfully picked each word which showed.

"Drowning eyes within your thundered embrace,"
^Loved this line! "drowing eyes" .. I could imagine that image so clearly in my mind so also "thundered embrace" .. I've never seen that phrase used before so I applaud you in trying something new and refreshing .. you pulled it off.

3rd Stanza:
I just adored you beginning line .. it was so attention grabbing and to the point without playing any games .. if that makes sense lol. Nonetheless I loved it. The imagery here was flawless and fit nicely with the mood

4th stanza:
Favorite stanza by far! Your beginning and last line were just flawlessly constructed and written beautifully. Your play with words here just blew me away with emotion and imagery. Wow. Nicely written my dear.

I just loved how different and enjoyable it was to read this piece because it wasnt like anything I usually read on this site so I am glad I read. Well done and I hope my comment was helpful. *5/5* from me :]

Again, this is so well written that I find myself standing in amazement and wishing that I had a drop of the talent the you so flawlessly display.

Each word, line, structure, and sentence was written so elogantly that the reader cannot help but to be sucked in.

The adjectives that you have penned together has outlined such vivid details that I am enthralled.

Once again you have outdone yourself.

~~Sher