Edit:
First line, you mean staring.
You're using too many commas and not enough periods in this poem. Try to reread it and pick out lines that are complete thoughts, complete statements. I'll use the second stanza as an example. You say that there's no one laughing at your favorite park. That's a complete thought. When you start to remember the past that's a completely different thought, a new sentence.
In this line:
No one on the merry-go-round vacant it feels so alone
No one on the merry-go-round. Okay, that's fine, but when you add on the other part it makes the sentence make no sense. Try to put a punctuation mark between the two parts to make it work.
The last thing I have to say is about the rhymes. Not all of them are perfect. That's okay though. It's just my personal preference to have perfect rhymes.

Response:
I thought it was a good poem. I could picture it, so you provided good imagery. Overall you had a pretty good rhyming consistency. It wasn't the same as every other love poem, which is very good, because I usually hate love poems, because they're always the same. Just try to work on when to use punctuation and maybe doing perfect rhymes. That's just me though. There are plenty of people that don't care about perfect rhymes. I'm just one of those people that do.

Rating:
Overall it was a good poem, so I'm going to give it a four.

Wow. That was sad for the first of it, but i guess it ended at least to not something that sad. I really liked it, and i know the feeling. Your words radiated through the screen. There were some spelling and grammar things that needed fixing as mentioned above, but overall it was excellent, and I really liked it. I would say a 4.5 but i round up so 5 of 5

Kaila, I believe that Jennifer had made very good suggestions with your poem. If you want this poem to do as well as it could potentially be, I think you should take her advice. The overall structure I found alright. Long sentences can be overfed with bogus words and phrases, and in Jen's post, she listed a few.

However, the romance you instilled into this poem was very intriguing. You created a very calm and sensual mood.

Again though, I think you should follow Jennifer's advice. Good effort though.