My Life's keyboard

This painful sound of silence, I've never truly heard
Always overshadowed by familiar tunes playing on my life's keyboard

With my eyes closed, I know exactly which keys to hit
Chaos, joy, anger, laughter and tears were among those I never missed

I've recorded every moment of my song
Yet this painful sound feels terribly wrong.

Silence finally defeated every thought in my head
But I'm not ready, too weak to battle against its spread.

I know this war
I barely won before.

That eerie feeling as if you're alone,
The fear of darkness crawling has its own tone.

I'm steadily trying to find a door
Searching for a glimpse of light, something more

I'm panting now because I know it's near
Somebody wake me up from this nightmare

Panic sets from what I know is gone
I pray that this torture won't last long

My heart fearcefully throbs, yet my body remains like a wall
I hear nothing, the scariest thing of all.

There it is, a touch on my cheek
Is it God or the man that's made me this weak?

I reach out and grab hold,
I'm starting to remember happier tunes that were so old.

Excitement, relief, love, butterflies, sunshine,
These keys took extra practice to make mine.

Hope fills my eyes as I cry,
Light under a door, Ill change just let me try.

I lift my head and now touch your face.
Yours is dry, no smile, not one trace.

Please say you're saving me,
Saving me from what we use to be!

Instead you let go and walk through the light
I saw your face, not God, but the man of my life.

Please stop and just talk to me!
But once again, your back talks as you are free.

Here comes that fear
Failure, silence, but not one tear.

This painful sound of silence, I've finally and truly heard,
No familiar tunes playing, not one word.

With my eyes open, I am blind and alone,
Blinded by you, my broken heart and soul

Damn you for letting go and never saving me!
But thank you for preparing me for this constantly.

Silence is now the only tune playing on my life's keyboard.