Comments : Write My Fate

  • 15 years ago

    by Cindy

    Nitin
    This piece is so very sad. I love the word choices and imagery you have used.

    One more time i will try tonight
    With shots of courage in my vein
    To write my fate in burning light
    To decide the end of this everlasting pain

    Spmetimes the pain and sadness in our lives just seem to take over all our thoughts. What we wouldn't give to be able to change things.

    One more chance i will take today
    With a scared smile on my lonely face
    Life will surely be so different someday
    When my existence will be hard to trace

    Whne things have gotten so bad you feel that it has not mattered that you have even lived. That no one would miss you if you were gone.

    Like a tear i fall from my own eyes everyday
    Like a star i shine in the shadow of night
    Monsters are within me for the rest of days
    To write my fate in this fading light

    Hope that star of yours shnes bright enough to chase away all those demons.
    Excellent job!
    Love Cindy

  • 15 years ago

    by Ingrid

    Hey sweet Nitin!

    What a sad poem you have written!
    Are you having problems? Please tell me if you need my help with praying, alright?

    Hugs for you,

    Ingrid

  • 15 years ago

    by Elapsed

    "One more chance i will take today
    With a scared smile on my lonely face
    Life will surely be so different someday
    When my existence will be hard to trace"

    such agonizing words within this stanza. The heartache was expressed so well throughout.. great job!!

  • 15 years ago

    by shobhana kumar

    Nitin

    when you write sad poems, it seems like everyone around you feels the pain - the words are so raw with emotion.

    take care my friend. there's nothing in the world that cannot be healed.

    thank you for being there for me

    good luck and peace
    shobhana

  • 15 years ago

    by Lonely Rider

    "Life will surely be so different someday
    When my existence will be hard to trace"

    so beautiful and so hearfelt... amazing write...

  • 15 years ago

    by DiamondEYES

    It was hard to stop reading it over and over again!
    If you would please excuse me I will cry a million glass tears for you.
    HUGS.
    DiamondEYES

  • 15 years ago

    by Krystall

    I love it. end of story.

  • 15 years ago

    by ben thompson

    Very good write nitin. great rhyme structure and flow. 5/5 from me my friend. all the best wishes ben thompson

  • 15 years ago

    by nicole

    Good work, i understood where you were coming from.

  • 15 years ago

    by Sora

    This poem is amazing! i loved it!

  • 15 years ago

    by Jeni

    I like this a lot. It's very emotional.

  • 15 years ago

    by Sarah

    A very overwhelming poem,

    The tone was somber and fearful. Which made the poem rise very well.

    The last verse:

    Like a tear i fall from my own eyes everyday
    Like a star i shine in the shadow of night
    Monsters are within me for the rest of days
    To write my fate in this fading light
    ^^^^^^^^^^
    Very affecting and stirring

    Keep writing! [5.5]

    Best wishes,

    Sarah

  • 15 years ago

    by Truly in Love

    Anything said to praise your writing is not enough.

    Soul touching!!

  • 15 years ago

    by Nobodys Hero

    This poem is amazing =]
    I loved your chioce of wording and the flow is excellent
    Your style of writting it's very captivating
    Your a brilliant writter ^^

  • 15 years ago

    by silent turbulence

    I loved the flow, how you have managed to pen down your thoughts so well!! god job!!