Comments : Perfection Is Only An Adjective

  • 16 years ago

    by Melpomene

    I'm quite sure perfect is an adjective.

    I actually really like this poem, for some reason it seems to have played with my emotions deeply which it what I like to feel when i'm reading a good poem.

    I'm wearing your tears on my cheeks tonight,
    For we both know that's just not your style.

    Above: Them two lines I adored. The emotion portrayed was touching. I can relate to those lines in many ways and I truely believe you started this poem off strongly because of the depth of emotion which was portrayed here.

    I told you not to dress for the occasion,
    Yet you wore that heart on your sleeve anyway,
    So I lied and told you it matched your tie just lovely,
    But honey, heartbreak never compliments big heads.

    I really liked this stanza, the way you express bitterness and resentment is wonderful, truely. The heart on sleeve thing to me is a little cliche but you did pull it off within this poem as it suited the whole metaphoric dress sense. So well done with that.

    The way you ended this piece was really beautiful in its own way. I think that you know how to hit the heart with an impact within the opening and ending lines.

    I'm torn between wether or not you should add more. I feel like it went so well though maybe one more stanza before the end would also create a lovely flow. If you do choose to write more please let m know hun, I'd love to read it.

    Well done with this. Overall quite an interesting and intriguing pieces.

    ~Mel

  • 16 years ago

    by Prasad Baadkar

    What a adjective perfection is n what a perfectuion this poem is... well done, keep it up..

    (Best wishz...007)

  • 16 years ago

    by Viola

    This is long overdue my dear but I haven't been in the best mindframe lately. Anyways, here goes.

    Your beginning here:

    "I'm wearing your tears on my cheeks tonight,
    For we both know that's just not your style."

    ^Is quite devestating. It's like you're taking the pain for him. I guess it's that whole deal that guy should not cry or they will appear weak (though I never believed that to be true). It's a really sad beginning and it already gives the reader the main picture and idea..that you're hurt and saddened by the situation, probably a lot more than he is.

    "[But we all know perfection is only an adjective.]"

    ^THe fact that that's in brackets is very interesting. It's like an after-thought or a middle though. I'm not sure but it adds this other element to the poem and connects it all to the title. Good line.

    "I told you not to dress for the occasion,
    Yet you wore that heart on your sleeve anyway,"

    ^That part got to me. I don't know what it is..something about the way you put the words together. It really made me sad to read. What you asked of him here and what he gave to you are not the same thing. A beautiful way of showing emotion.

    "So I lied and told you it matched your tie just lovely,
    But honey, heartbreak never compliments big heads."

    ^Wow. Here you're getting harsh..which makes sense because I get the feeling he didn't excatly treat you anywherre near good. Now I'm not sure how to interpret this..and it sort of confuses me. I am guessing that you're breaking up with him. Maybe? I don't know but i though up to now that you were the only one that was heartbroken and now the reader begins to see that he is too but he just doesn't seem to want to show it.

    "I could write a book on all the wrongs you've done,
    But that would be a waste of good advice,"

    ^This is a really nice way of putting it. The 'waste of good advice' part makes me think he just won't take it. Very well then, because this connects back to the 'big head' part in the previous stanza.

    "When you wore that unfitting suit to all those dates,
    Still hoping you wouldn't get caught wearing the same thing twice."

    ^Now I'm not really sure what you meant by this but I still found it beautiful.

    "[And in the end; perfection is still only an adjective,
    But one I never should have used on you.]"

    ^The brackets again add that other level. I love this. I suppose at the beginning we are fooled into believing he's perfect and as time goes by he's anything but.

    I think the poem is definitely enough. Though if you wished to add more to it I'm sure I'd be great but it's great the way it is just as well. I like all the emotions kinda thrown into this...there's love yes, but then there's a bit of anger, frusturation, sadness, the sense oif loss, disappointment. I love how it's all put together to vreate the poem. Wonderful work! Keep up the good work. =]

    --Viola