Hi Sam,

Nice to read your poem. Would you plz clear out certain portions of ur poem? Or better way to silence the critics is by putting a kind of synopsis at the bottom of the poem.

On the other aspects of the poem: The intentions are good and the thing that you wish to portray is understandable. The best stanza that I liked was "Beware all treachery from the mortal lips....." Trust me on one thing, this is the best thing I have read in my life...

Technically, there are certain loose ends that you need to tie. Like the comment above mine has explained. Overall, technically i wish to give you 3.5 ratings but I could still understand the meaning of this poem and prompts me to give you 4.5. So the average score makes it 4.

I m sorry if you find my comments offensive and brutal. But jus wanna make u realise that u r a far better writer than this one.

Take care. Njoi.

This one provoked many mystical thoughts in my mind.

Since supposed to be sense
it was confusing.
although i thin that you got what you were trying to do with the chants and things and that was good.
good poem x