Wow This poem is so sad, i really like the poem story, its not to difficult yet its not at all babyish,

well done 5/5

And pour down in tears.'
- should it not be and break down in tears.

i'm gonna say this for you its a delicate subject to write about so give it a little moree meotion.

secondly, the last stanza needs work, show how upset she is, she couuld possibly whisper into the air something that she wants him to no, don't leave it hanging without a bang! at the end not really bang, but metaphorical.

you wrote a story not a freestyle poem, well thats the way it looks cause of the structure.

positive points was, you were very very descriptive, which adds to the imagery, you used brilliant words, well picked i'll say that about it.

the story itself, has been done over and over again, you could possible add more of your unique touch :]- i know you have it in there somewhere.

the lenght, was not to long not to short just right so you get bonus brownie points from me for that bit.

the lanuage was simple, big words don't always make a poem better, it just makes it look more advanced, and if you can't understand it whats the point in posting it.

i did really enoying reading it, keep up the good work xxxxxxxxx

p.s sorry for the lenght of the post :]

I dont know if you are an army wife or ex wife but I could really relate to that poem.. my husband finally came home from the war but that feeling and fret that he might not come home left me sleepless many nights especially when i knew he was going on a mission. my body tingled as i read this poem i cant even fathom the thought of losing my husband :( thank you for this post and good luck in all your endeavors. And I know I speak for all the army wives out there if they could read this when i say... Thank you to your husbands contribution to the war and to you for your contribution as the wife of a soldier i know how tough it is you are in our prayers