Nyell,

This was quite the interesting piece to tell you the truth. A deeper meaning was portrayed within each line which really had me thinking. I was a little slow on interpreting this today maybe it's because i'm sick, or maybe it's just because it was really complex and interesting.

I was really impressed with a few of the metaphors you portrayed here. You know how much I have adored your metaphors but again you have made me intrigued.

I loved the first line, It reminded me of something I tried to express within my latest poem, The deeper meaning of it was definitly something truthful. Theres no reason repeating something over and over again.

Even though this was a life poem I liked the fact you showed some real darkness within it. As you know i'm quite the fan of darkness. You definitly added a nice touch to this. I loved the topic. It was great. Definitly something i've thought about a few times.

how many dragons you have slain

That line was a favorite throughout it. I found the metaphor to be wonderful.

Overall definitly a great read by you as always. Keep on writing so I can keep on reading. ~Mel

First of all truly interesting title, it is very captivating.

-There is no point in writing around in circles
washed words, pallid moonbeams of sorrow,
yet, even the golden hearts unite once again
unlocked with the paintbrushes of ancient past.-

^ Amazing start, first two lines impressed me because they are so refreshing and you expressed sorrow on so original way. Truly remarkable stanza.

-Digital elegy begins with suffering-
how many dragons you have slain
depends on the patchwork of unborn tears
that slid softly down your spine.-

^Wow!!! This is so grotesque image. I honestly can't tell how much this fascinated me, your idea for description of emotion is amazing. -Tears that slid down the spine- that image, well personally, it led me to another image, because how actually tears get on the spine?
Whole stanza is brilliant.

-Our souls are wet, decayed under iron anguish,
so even if we're willing to sell them...
... the devil won't except damaged goods.-

^This stanza greatly supervened from the rest of the poem...
It is my favorite part, it left me speechless, each line, wow! So creative and deep, you have strong message here and the way you expressed it is impressing, this stanza is somehow perfect for my taste.

Overall you did fantastic job with this poem, I wish for another stanza, but it's shortness gave a lot of power because you said many things within this piece.
I enjoyed a lot, this is one of the best poems I read in a while, I will put it in my favorites.
It is also worth of contest nomination.

Again its good but you could do better,i like the title and the feeling that i feel now,good jop

I really liked the way that this poem was abstract, meaning the was an aura about it which was really good.

Also you used metaphors in appropraite places my personal favourite was
'how many dragons you have slain', This was pretty literal but absractly had pragmatic meaning behind it.

The last sentence was exellent. It really summed up the whole poem and gave it meaning, unfortunatly in which I find hard to do as do many.

The cohesion also in this poem meant that each and every word fitted. It went well with the style of the poem.

Overall an exellent job a pleasure to read.

Alex xxx

I think after reading this poem, I can understand your style a little more. It's very abstract. You paint pictures I cannot see right away. I guess I need to spend a little more time reading between the lines. In this piece, I think I had a better understanding.

"There is no point in writing around in circles
washed words, pallid moonbeams of sorrow,
yet, even the golden hearts unite once again
unlocked with the paintbrushes of ancient past."

^^ I loved the two opening lines. You start off the poem with a strong statement. It's bold and it's harsh.

Then came the magical 'yet'. The word that brings in hope. Followed by two lines seeping with imagery. I also liked how you ended it off with 'ancient past'. Describing the past as 'ancient' was very effective.

In the second verse, I just have to say, it creeped me out reading the part about tears running down a spine. It was very good imagery though.

I LOVED the last line. It left me in awe. It was both humourous and interesting. A very good poem overall.

I shall have to read some more of your poems, to better understand your style, then re-read these, and see if I can find the bigger picture! Thanks!

I'm blinking rapidly right now. lol. i'm simply trying to understand how you could have written such a maginificent piece..The title drew me in and i was held until the last words fell.

There is no point in writing around in circles

^^ i find myself writing in circles often, and it makes me mad because it just seems like such a waste...

washed words, pallid moonbeams of sorrow,

^^ the imagery in this line is absolutely stunning. i thought of an ocean ((washed words)) glittering in the moonlight...a darker scene..wonderful. absolutely stunning line.

yet, even the golden hearts unite once again
unlocked with the paintbrushes of ancient past.

^^ the "paintbrushes" knocked me off gaurd here. i write a lot about paintbrushes because it's my code for something else, so that's immediately what i thought of here...even though i don't believe that's how it is intended.

how many dragons you have slain
depends on the patchwork of unborn tears
that slid softly down your spine.

^^ omg. i started shivering here..."slid softly down your spine"....that's just beautiful. the soft "s" sound accentuates the quietness of the verse but when thinking of tears it's almost a quiet threatening.

Our souls are wet, decayed under iron anguish,

^^ i could almost taste copper in this stanza..wonderful. i adore the use of the word decay. and also how it's iron anguish..that's an interesting concept..makes the anguish seem inescapable.

so even if we're willing to sell them...
... the devil won't except damaged goods.

^^ i had to remember to breathe after this line, it's simply superb. just....i'm speechless at how perfect these two lines are.

bravo..wonderful job.

5.5

Congrats on your double win :)

Wow congrats on the win[s]

Isn't life so unfair.... but ahhh well, it's all good, sometimes these unfortunate events- with a positive attitude- gets you into fortunate events that get you out of all the pain, at other times, it's these unfortunate events which makes you meet people who help you along the long road of life or it brings you closer to them.

I really liked this. It was very deep, and it has a lot of potential. I loved your use of vocabulary, your emotions came out wonderfully. You did an amazing job on this piece. Great job

Your last lines were amazing 5/5

Very unique work, nicely done. it really was different and deep. two thumbs up

Very unique work, nicely done. it really was different and deep. two thumbs up