Im very impressed i really like the last one before the choris btu its all really good man im real f**king ipressed my friend if you need me to write you any thing like it again i would be honerd.

Some parts are pretty cool, others I'd say to work on more.

For instance, I wouldn't rhyme Harlea's name as Harley, it just makes it sound like you couldn't find anything else to rhyme her name with. What I do if I really want a certain word or name in a poem is put it at the beginning or middle, the ending has to rhyme, so I just pick another word out of the line to rhyme with.

Here's an example:

Instead of, But know I just act oh so mysteriosly.
Gee, I wonder just why that is harlea, (harley)

It could be, But know I just act oh so mysteriously.
Gee Harlea, you never take me seriously.

See what I mean? And if you can't get the first to rhyme with anything else that sounds good you could always switch up both lines or start from scratch.

I feel some of your rhymes were just put there for the sake of rhyming which makes it sound too mediocre. You're getting way better than when we first met though. Just keep exploring. :)

Yo dude i couldnt find the rap you told me about so i just picked one. I dont get how well you can like transist from one ryhme to the next I mean i was like readin it and I was listening to one ryhme and then the next second i didnt even notice that it had changed. Your beastly that you can make it that long but hey theres a difference in rap and rock so Idk