Why you but me in this darkroom

Why you but me in world were I c evil
^ but should be Put

um, you need to work on grammer. your poems dont really make much since because your not using the english language correctly. you cant just throw any word in there and call it a poem ...it needs to fit, be in the right context, and the right form of the word (past,present,future,ect)

EX>God why you put me in dark room
^^
is sounds like you just got off a boat form another country.
it should be something like: God why did you put me in a dark room
the words Did and A make a huge diffrence.
do you see what i mean?
i hope you do
it is a good poem all the same
4/5

``Firstly, the title. "Why you but me in this darkroom." These mistakes.. you really shouldn't be making. They are so easy to fix, but they shouldn't be being made. I think you meant to say put instead of but here. Because, from reading your first line that's what I came up with.

"God why you put me in dark room"
``Did you mean to ask this as a question? Like.. "God why did you put me in this darkroom?"

"Every where I go darkness
No where to hide from evil"
``Everywhere is one word, not two.
``This is worded not very good, I don't like it. Maybe you'd say something like.. "Everywhere I go, I see darkness. There is no where to hide from evil."

"Everycorner is death
Every one is dead
No one there to help "
``Space between every corner.
``You are missing words. Look this over and try to find them.

"You but in a dead world with out no one
Why you but me in world were I c evil
Do you hate me do you?"
``This is totally full of so many grammar mistakes.
``First line you need put instead of but.
``Without is one word not two.
``Again, second line you have but again. It should be put.
`` I c is slang, I see is the correct way to say it.
``This stanza isn't worded very well. It's sloppy. Sorry for being so criticial. :\

Overall, this poem needs a ton of improvement. Lots of things are mispelled for some reason, and I don't know why. You really need to focus on the whole grammar thing, because that's the thing you struggle on.

I'm sorry, again. If I'm being critical. But you asked for comments, so I was willing to give them to you.