Comments : You!

  • 12 years ago

    by Jenie

    Sis this was an AWSOME poem like many others! i really feel ur pain. i am guessing and pretty sure its about kenneth but when u quoted
    "I wanna go back in time
    To when we first met
    I should have walked on
    Instead I'm left with regret"

    all i can say is do not live in regret-let him go.u deserve someone who wil wait for u and be there for u.

    5/5

  • 12 years ago

    by Cayce

    I wish life was more simple
    Like being a child again
    No deep worries in life
    It was so easier back then
    `` I wish this all the time. It was so much easier when I was a little kid....

    I wanna go back in time
    `` I think you should write "wanna" as "want to". It's just good grammar.

    If I had never let you in
    I would be free from this pain
    I never thought that love
    Would make you go insane
    `` Blaaaah. I know this emotion right now. It sucks, I know, but you've just got to live with the mistakes you make, I guess..

    Our love was near perfect
    We almost got it right
    But now I am left alone
    Crying myself to sleep at night
    `` I tihnk that last line slightly throws off the flow. Um, maybe you could change it to "Crying to myself at night". Just a suggestion though.

    Memories of us drives me crazy
    `` Take off the s in drives. :]

    Maybe put some more punctuation in it? It'll help the flow, even though the flow was pretty good without it. :] Your rhymes seemed unforced and natural. This was a good poem. Great job.

    Keep writing!
    Cayce

  • Very good well written