Comments : Sparklers

  • 11 years ago

    by Michelle18

    It was a little all over the place.. but i didnt even notice it until you pointed it out and i went back to read it..

    i think its great though.. it really deep. and strong. i enjoyed reading this one.

    5/5 from me.

  • 11 years ago

    by CHEMICALcaitlin

    I thought this was really deep and had a lot of emotions and meaning. I liked your word choice a lot, too. Who cares if it was kinda all over the place?? Still an awesome poem.

    "Naive souls with blinded eyes,
    could never see the truth past all those lies.
    Her static body swallowed by flames.
    Beauty turned to ashes, her facade was burned away."
    ^^^
    My favorite stanza, for sure.

    Awesome job, 5/5
    Caitlin =)

  • 11 years ago

    by Courageous Dreamer

    The rhyming was okay, I tend to do that in my pieces sometimes.. but honestly it didn't make too much of a different here. I liked this poem, it was very interesting to read. When I read the title I was hoping to read something about the 4th of july. I like how you use the sparklers as your "object" that you then go and expand off of. Interesting poem, 5/5.

  • 11 years ago

    by StandStill

    *gasps*
    CAYCE!!!!
    I actually adore how the rhyming scheme is all over the place. it makes it seem more erratic, which matches FIRE on SPARKLERS. as well as the vocabulary ((which was stunning)). it all complemented nicely.

    Her static body swallowed by flames.
    Beauty turned to ashes, her facade was burned away.

    ^^ These two lines were just pure genious, hon. seriously. I loved them.

    Great poem, even if YOU didn't like it. XD

  • 11 years ago

    by Lori

    I really enjoyed reading this, although I did find it a bit all over the place, but the word choice totally covered it up :D Great write girl! 5/5

  • 10 years ago

    by Rolo

    You...and most others have said that this poem is a little random and all over the place. No matter where your mind was at the time, I feel your thoughts were written down beautifully. I love the feeling of confusion and anxiety...I think you were able to portray that very well...and anymore organization would have thrown it off. Great write, I'm glad I read this. 5/5. :]

    -Rolo