Comments : Love Although Dim Will Never Fade.

  • 11 years ago

    by MariaJose94

    Very good

  • 11 years ago

    by BREEawNUHH

    First, I must point out, as I was reading, I didn't quite understand why the title was what it was. But as I was nearing the end, I saw it, it hit me. Ultimately, it was a wonderful title, indeed.

    "My forlorn heart still flutters-
    as it still remains in one piece;
    awaiting your arrival to captivate it
    and love me the way I love you. "

    ^^ What a beautiful way to begin a poem. "My forlorn heart still flutters-" Gosh. This stanza can only be summed up in one simple word -- perfect.

    "The profound feelings I encompass
    for you (a person with such a beautiful soul),
    are complicating my every thought, my every wish,
    as they continue to grow stronger than ever before."

    ^^ I liked this stanza, also. However, I feel as though in the second line, the parenthesis are not needed, but it still works, so no harm done.

    "Constantly being told to let the feelings dissolve-
    by those who I confide in, is becoming too much to take.
    I've tried so hard to let things fade in the past,
    but have found out that it doesn't last long."

    ^^ Sometimes it really sucks having the people you are closest to tell you to let go of him/her. Because deep down, they may be right, but you love the person so much, you just can't let go.

    "Letting these feelings fade away will break my heart,
    for the thought of you would no longer linger in my mind.
    I refuse to let this happen to me,
    so I will continue to hold on to these genuine feelings."

    ^^ I loved this for an ending. It really summed up the poem for me, and showed me why you titled it the way you did. Love may not be felt throughout, but it will remain, regardless.

    Overall; I thought this was a wonderfully written piece. It's heartfelt, and emotion, which is, of course, always a good thing. 5/5

    ``Briana

  • 11 years ago

    by Cayce

    My forlorn heart still flutters-
    as it still remains in one piece;
    awaiting your arrival to captivate it
    and love me the way I love you.
    `` This was a great opening. Very eye catching and something I'm sure most people can relate to. Waiting on a guy is not really healthy, but it's hard not to sometimes, when you care about him so much. I know, I've been there.

    Constantly being told to let the feelings dissolve-
    by those who I confide in, is becoming too much to take.
    I've tried so hard to let things fade in the past,
    but have found out that it doesn't last long.
    `` You can never forget someone you love, and it makes me mad when people tell you to forget about them. I know they're just trying to help, but they don't understand.. you can't just forget them. That's impossible.

    Letting these feelings fade away will break my heart,
    for the thought of you would no longer linger in my mind.
    I refuse to let this happen to me,
    so I will continue to hold on to these genuine feelings.
    `` That first line blew me away. It's like if you forget him it'll break your heart, but remembering him breaks your heart too. Either way you lose. The last line gives off the feeling of hopelessness, but I think it's a good ending for the poem.

    I really loved your word choice. The whole poem was wonderful. Great job!

    Keep writing!
    Cayce

  • 11 years ago

    by Blissful

    Yes my dear hold on to the feelings but do something with them. Dont let fear paralyze you in your tracks because you might miss out on something beautiful. Fight for what you want and if you dont get it at least you wont live with regrets. Love is an emotion worth fighting for right? Well then dont be scurred hun. Go for it :] Well done, loved the piece *5/5*

  • 11 years ago

    by kate

    I like this poem alot. =] it made me smile in a weird way I guess. I have no idea why but I like the idea how you don't want to get rid of those feelings toward this one person because these feelings are so strong and you don't want to let go of that last thing that keeps you from him you know. very well done.

    keep it up.
    keep on writing.
    love always and forever.

  • 11 years ago

    by Michelle18

    This is a good love poem.. its hard to forget someone that you love.. i know that feeling. i just got out of an eight year relationship and found out the guy was cheating on me with my own cousin... it hurt like hell.

    but i still love him and no matter what i cant hate him.. but anyways lol it is hard to forget someone you love.especially when someone tells you to just move on and tries to push you away it makes you want that person even more.

    you did a great job expressing yourself in this poem. it flowed nicely. and i loved it. 5/5

  • 11 years ago

    by Michelle18

    Blah.. that was suppose to say eight months^^ guess i got carried away lol.

  • 11 years ago

    by Bugg

    Oh, that was cute and sweet, mixed in with a little sad. It was adorable. I know how you feel. I've liked this one guy forever (!) and I don't have the courage to tell him how I feel, and my friends tell me to forget him. But if he ever left my mind, I wouldn't be able to ever think again! lol Great poem.

  • 11 years ago

    by CourtneyyContageous

    Agian beautifully amazing. Your first stanza captured my from the start. It told me a story of when I also fell in love, only to find that the other didn't love me the way I could. But like this poem, I wouldn't let that feeling fade away, i've waited for them to feel the same. I love how I can relate to your poety, your feelings. Keep writing.

  • 11 years ago

    by Kalgalath

    This is exactly what I have been going through for the past week and two days. Amazing poem.

  • 11 years ago

    by iTdOnTmAtTeR

    Hey, just thought id give props to ur piece, it was sweet and simple i relate to it alot, my fav part was"Constantly being told to let the feelings dissolve
    by those who I confide in"...i know how that goes lol...good work.

    -iTdOnTmAtTeR-

  • 11 years ago

    by Kaila

    I really enjoyed this piece. I think everyone has felt this way at one point. And it's hard to forget, although sometimes you might want to, the risk of losing it all is too great. Which is relatable and I'm glad you chose this topic. Some things I would fix:
    The last few lines.
    The first and last lines are really important for the poem you came off strong in the beggining and okay in the middle then the end was sort of off. I just didn't feel the emotion at the end. So maybe take a look at that. nice job
    4/5