Grief

Cutting my flesh to ease the pain,
Curled upon the bed, so full of shame.
Tired of the way people look at me,
Seeing the happy girl I pretend to be.

Full of anger, hurt and rage,
Covering it up with each slice of the blade.

Burning alive in this fiery hell.
I call out to you, can't you tell?
Each slice I etch into my skin,
Is a cry for help from deep within.

Feeling the blood gush out of my soul,
Praying to the Lord, just let me go.

I can't stand being here, is there more than this?
Please just grant me one last wish.

Don't take the people I love so dear.
Instead take me, I have no fear.

I'm tired of seeing people who have so much to live for die,
I'm tired of being the one to sit around and cry.

I've wept with their families, I've held their hand.
I've seen them take their last breaths and I still don't understand.

I've watched as their bodies were laid to rest,
A shiny casket being lowered into a dirty mess.
And I ask myself was this all a test?

Was this a joke or some kind of game?
Or a way for me to never feel the same.
Like a part of me is missing, I'm breaking down.
Alone in this silence, I hear strange sounds,
I hear their voices, And when I close my eyes,
I see their hands reaching out from the ground,
Still pleading for me to help them now.

The only way to destroy this hurt and pain,
Is to cut my skin, and bleed the shame.
The guilt that I couldn't save them,
I let them die, as I lay here tonight
I can't stop the cry.

I'm calling out to you, please help me now.
Before another body is laid in the ground.