I really liked this piece. I thought it was written very well. The rhyming was excellent. I liked the emotion you portrayed.

[She wants to forget about him,
But it's too hard for her poor soul.
"Maybe he didn't love me...
I should've had more self-control."]

^^ This is my favourite stanza. I'm sure it hurts when a person realizes someone else just used them, especially when they think the other person loves them.

Overall; this piece was excellent. I loved everything about it. 5/5

``Briana

This poem was filled with so much emotion. I felt all the sadness that you portrayed. great work

So sad. the way this story is told is so touching. lines like "she was just a lonely girl" tekk like such story isn't exceptional, it happens quite often, and that is what makes the poem so moving.
i have some suggestions:
And so she followed him <-- somewhy "and so" seemed useless. why don't you change it to something more meaningful? idk, maybe "silently, she followed gim.." or something like that. your choice though:)

in stanzas 5 and 6 you repeat "poor". maybe you can change it to something else, e.g. "tender soul" or "harmless soul".

overall, the poem has really impressed me.
great write!
5/5

This was was a very good poem, you did an excellent job on it. the rhyming was done well, and the flow was good. this was filled with emotion and pain. and i loved how the last stanza wrapped things up. 5/5

Well done. I can't complain as much as I did on your other poem, because you did much better in this one. Good job. This was supposed to be a little sad, but still made me laugh a little. Ambitious people and beer....never leads to anything good. haha 5/5

I love it !! It good

I love it !! It good

"She saw him across the room,
He winked at her, beer in hand.
And so begins the fateful tale,
of a lonesome girl and her one night stand."

i love this stanza the best b/c it starts off the story .. not to say your other poems dont tell stories so no offense i hope... it gives the poem a feel and a first part to it.. so the reader knows whats going on.
this was a great poem as well as your other ones

Alright.
Honestly, this is a really cliche poem for me. Everyone always talks about one night stands and what not, and it wasn't creative.

My personal opinion, of course, but I think you need to add more emotion into by far. Spice it up a little with more detail and don't go so cliche on everything you say.

However, it had a nice flow except for the fifth stanza.

xTheEcstasyofSuicidex 3.5

Crap, this makes me wanna cry, but I loved it so much! You really have a way with words and well, I am just envious of how awesome you write. It flows so well and makes me happy! Although it was sad, it was really well written and I won't ever forget it!