Fighting with emotions
running through my head
my mind just keeps replaying
the things I've done and said
The years that have past
The hurt i have caused
The one thing I want
But have forever lost
Forever staying quiet
Hidden deep within my soul
the secret that is trapped there
that only I can know
i watch how much you've grown
and the things that you have done
but because of my own actions
a sideline seat is what I've won
avoiding these emotions
the thoughts running through my head
is getting so much harder
I feel my thoughts are being read
I can't tell you every day
What I long to say each time we talk
I cant reach out to touch you
feel your hand in mine as we walk
I lost the chance so long ago
To keep what we had
But each time we are together
I feel the burning twice as bad
I don't know why I'm writing this
as I cant cant share it with anyone
but I cant just keep this hidden
I cant not say a word
Perhaps I should just wish you luck
And cut our ties except for our son
because every time I see you
I fall in love again
I know that you don't want that
For I know the hurt I've caused
But the more and more I spend time with you
The harder it is for me to ignore
I've almost let those three words slip
So many times as we've said goodbye
I know I should just ignore it
Let the feelings go
But I cant seem to shake them
No matter how I try
I think about you all the time
I dream of you at night
I cant even be with someone else
Without wishing it were you by my side
I should stop writing about it
I should just end these thoughts right now
I told you that I still loved you
But I don't think you realize how much I mean it
So I'm just stuck feeling it
And hoping no one knows
