The white spray from the sea hides my tears, but
no the sorrow inside.
this stanza really demonstrates the
pain which is felt inside.

The white spray from the sea hides my tears, but
no the sorrow inside.
this stanza really demonstrates the
pain which is felt inside.

Well a long poem again. I think to improve this you should work on the structure of the poem. Also try to refrain from using a lot of I's in the poem coz it sometimes messes up the flow.