Comments : Balance.

  • 15 years ago

    by Nobodys Hero

    This poem holds a very good meaning, great job!
    It had a nice flow and it was interesting to read!
    =]

  • 14 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    "A little kid who sits on a bench, tapping his feet.
    You wonder is he care-free or holding sadness within.
    The sweet old lady who is walking in the street.
    You wonder is she grateful or holding regrets within."

    I love the opening, it gave the reader a scene to think about and the meaning was so deep. My only suggestion would be to add a question mark at the end of line 2 and 4. This stanza really makes the reader think, when I look at people I do wonder what they are truly feeling, if they are faking their happiness.

    "Life is to short to let everything pass you by.
    Yet is to gentle to let every scar open up again."

    I liked these two lines by themselves here, what powerful and true words you have written. A thought-provoking piece so far, keep it up!

    "Remember, that things aren't measured in time.
    They are measured in moments ticking inside."

    Very well-worded, you give off a sense of hope and inspiration in this poem.

    "A little kid who sits on a bench, tapping his feet.
    Is the same as the sweet old lady on the street."

    Right, this is a very entrancing read, you have a nice consistent flow and your thoughts get into the reader.

    "Somehow, life ties everything back together.
    From age, race, and differences greater than appearance.
    Remember, not to be to serious or to care-free.
    Somehow, you need to find that middle balance."

    A beautiful ending, this was a brilliant piece, so good job! 5/5 from me. My only suggestion would be in the last stanza, to not have the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd line end with periods. But with comma's instead, it will read a lot better.

    Take care and God Bless You!

    ~MaryAnne

  • 14 years ago

    by Em

    Very unique but beautiful message you send out in this poem. 5/5, Em