"There she was sitting as her cheeks went red
With the blood in her veins that made my throat dread
As she flinches when I touched her for the first time
I heard her heart flutter when her lips touched mine"

Amazing word choice here, really drew me into this whole poem.

"Her eyes with that beautiful shade of brown
Her scent, so fragrant, enough to make me drown"

Seriously, these are two beautiful lines! Great rhyming and flow.

"Every night I watched her sleep
Hearing words come out of her lips
The sound of her quiet breathing was music to my ears
As I hum her lullaby to keep away her fears"

Well put. Everything you say in this poem, is just like Edward and Bella. Great imagery too.

"I didn't imagine I'd ever felt this way
Even though I knew that in the end I would have to pay
Years and years of walking with her kind
Yet, until her, no one has ever touched my life"

^Well expressed emotions and feelings here, very sweet.

Overall you did amazing! Really, I felt like I was reading Stephenie Meyer's books. I really enjoyed this, you have some wonderful talent, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Keep writing, always and forever...

This is an incredibly sweet poem... =)

(i just love twilight ;) i bet stephenie meyer would like this poem of yours :) )

isabel