Comments : Roll the Dice.

  • 15 years ago

    by Andrew

    Ok, time to get my critics hat on ;)

    "Day after day head down in a book,
    Your mind full of equations and dates,
    All those chances you just never took,
    All those plans you just wouldn't make."

    The rhyme and flow of those lines isn't quite as strong as the rest of the poem, in my opinion.

    Also, "Reach for the moment thats out of sight" - should be 'that's'.

    As for the positives, the rest is well written and flows good, and it ticks all the trademarks of your poems, Simple, straightforward rhymes and flows but with a strong message conveyed, with a clever bit at the end to summarize and tie everything up.

    "Revisit old memories you never made" - That line is probably one of your best yet.

    Overall, you've written better poems, but it's still a strong and very worthwhile addition.

    *removes critics hat and washes it for next time*

  • 14 years ago

    by Kurt

    I always appreciate a poem that deviates from the norm. To read your poem that barely mentions a cliche topic is refreshing. The rhythm was simple and easy enough to follow. There were no particular moments where the rhythm or flow caused me to stop or falter in reading. In fact, the only reasons I paused was to contemplate and briefly recreate the images outlined and described in your poem. This poem hit closer to home than I had thought it would. I see how even I have a tendency to miss opportunities to experience life and this is a reminder of how rewarding a risky decision can be. Definately a splendid write. 5/5.

  • 14 years ago

    by DreamingOutLoud

    Very Creative; love it!