I awake

I awake with a feeling thats all consuming
it feels like death and it's nothing new to me
I roll over and look at the woman by my side
I'll never tell her this but she's the only reason I'm alive

I struggle every single morning just to lift my head
and go to sleep at night wondering why today I'm not dead
not knowing why I'm alive kills me everyday
feeling like I'm taking up space in every single way

Having know clue how I'm going to make it from place to place
often wondering gas or food? and deciding food to be a waste
"How am I going to pay rent this month?" Is often on my mind
I got 350 this month, but I'm still seventy behind

When is my next job going to come an what's it going to be
I don't know when it's going to happen, but sad to say prolly be in a factory
I can't seem to stay at a job where my intelligence excels
get a job one week, an I'm gone the next without fail

So with this I end this poem, thats a tragedy an also my life,
and fade into the dark, the black this every lasting night.