Comments : Her/Me.

  • 16 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    "She sits over there alone in a corner,
    People yelling screaming saying "She's has a disorder"
    She tries to keep her tears back in,
    Sooner or later, It started to begin."

    Second line-"She's" should be "she"...

    "Going home everyday with a heavy heart,
    Thinking of whether to end this or start.
    She thinks she can't face this world anymore.
    In her mind says,
    "Just walk away and continue to ignore."

    Fourth line-Doesn't make much sense to me so I would change "in" to either "but" or "and". Just my opinion though.

    Otherwise this poem is really good. Great emotions that was all very heartfelt. Keep writing, always and forever...