Heyy darling. this wasn't cliche and it wasn't terribly written at all. uve expressed urself really well and as usual written a beautiful poem, that was sad, touching deep and powerful. i loved the ending;

"I'm falling apart; all these ribbons have untied themselves,
And I'm unsure of how to hold myself together today.
Because with no hand to hold, and all the lies to escape,
I'm not the same girl; No, I'm not, cause she flew away."

i thought it was a very strong ending. u stay strong. keep up the good work. =) xo

"It's slowly creeping inside of all these rusty bones." --- That line absolutely amazes me.
From the first stanza to the very last word, this was sopping with tension and heart-break. The cadence was practically flawless as well. (: I think this is a beautiful portrait of your heart in the moment, not cliche or bad at all. Beautiful job.

So much sadness in your words.
I can understand your pain, but with my mom..

Anyway your poem really touched me inside... it had me crying...

"I hide this face underneath the darkness of the night,
Slipping myself between the guilt and all the lies.
I'm remembering everything I've ever done for you;
All the things I had to bear and all those empty cries."

A truly piece of art. the emotion in this stanza alone make my heart twist in pain, b/c i understand it so well. really this is not to much of an advice b/c there's really nothing to change..

You let the emotion run wild in this one!
keep it up!!

**Ada**
*aBSwaBHiaPL*

Be nice ? How could i be mean .. This poem is beautifully written . It's easy to relate to , the flow is really good and I love the rhymes . Keep up the writting : )