The End

This is a good piece but could probably be made a lot better.

for one, this line:
"
Just let me hold my body close to my bodies departure" is very confusing, hold your body close to your bodies departure? i dont really get it and its tough to understand.

also, if the end gets larger, too me larger isnt a bad word. maybe if you used one with a more negative feel it would bring out more emotion, like

"the end will be hopeless, or catacylsmic, or something of the sense..

it would also be better if you expanded and made it longer, but thats just be wantign to read more :-)

anyways good job,
keep it up
-chris