Very sad poem. the emotion was so strong it gave mo goosebumps...
i love the flow and rhyming on each line...simply flawless. the description was so strong it painted the sad picture in my mind.
flawless poem!!
keep it up!
You have amazing talent.

**Ada**
*aBSwaBHiaPL*

Wow, this poem made my day =]
I was not expecting that when I first opend it.

I honestly thought that this poem was amazing and to be honest it's one of the only ones on here iv'e actually enjoyed reading in a while =]

Every stanza had a perfect rhyming flow and your choice of wording was extremly well suited. (Great choice of heading too)
I could not see any flaws because this piece was so well written ^^

Awesome write 5/5

Open my wrists and pop a vein, let emptiness seep through.
Watch me crawl down on my knees, crawling back to you.
`I usually don't like repeating a word (even altered) in a stanza--and especially not in the same line, but this actually worked in my eyes. It gave it a more haunting effect and really emphasized this sort of ... submission to heartbreak. And the image of popping a vein to allow nothingness to seep through is so beautiful.

From all the lies, the pain inside is surly not to ever fade.
`I think you meant "surely" instead of "surly."

Tie the noose around my neck, stop me from breathing now.
See the tears in my eyes,I want to cry but I don't know how.
`Oh, now this is really powerful. I sense anger seeping through, especially after the line about this person turning you into a monster. Now THIS made me feel like you were extremely pissed off at the person, and you're challenging them to kill you. It's like, If you have enough guts to turn me into a horrible person and still be able to walk this earth like you're human, how about killing me, too? Amazing.

Can you taste the anger on my lips, all I can say is I tried.
`I think it would sound better if it looked like "Can you taste the anger on my lips? All I can say is: I tried." It gives a sort of ... effective pause at the right time. Or maybe that's just me. *shrugs.

Find the note besides the rope with my last few words to say....
`beside*
This kind of sounded awkward to me, but at the same time, I think it's grammatically correct. Just pointing out it's kind of weird wording, but it works.

I don't really have anything to point out that's wrong with this piece. Nicely done.

..__MiNDYY

WoW!!!!
This piece is beyond to7faaaa, I really really like it..although I think it should be categorized as a dark poem, sad is just not enough, lol !

Open my wrists and pop a vein, let emptiness seep through.
Watch me crawl down on my knees, crawling back to you.
Are you scared of what I am?, the monster that you made.
From all the lies, the pain inside is surely not to ever fade.
>> First two lines just rocked the whole piece, I really love the simile in them !
3rd line is so awesomely written as well :)

Stab my heart with broken glass, let my body rot away.
Find the note beside the rope with my last few words to say....
>> A suicide note you mean? Okay that's one of the things I wanted to write about :D but its a repeated topic, I'm glad you made it only part of the whole piece, well done.

Tie the noose around my neck, stop me from breathing now.
See the tears in my eyes,I want to cry but I don't know how.
>>these lines I liked too a lot, I think I can perfectly see the image you portrayed here, it was very clear and enjoyable !!

Can you taste the anger on my lips?, all I can say is: I tried.
>>I'm almost hearing you say it, tasting the anger in your lips, and trying as much as you can to utter these words, whispering with your last words, that's just so stunning...very well written too.

I haven't been able to read nor write any poems lately, I dunno why have I come to read your poem, I think I had the feeling of liking it even before reading :D
that was an awesome read hun
very well written again
write on =]

R U Suicidal IF U DON'T MIND ME ASKING?

You have a gift for writind for sure , you r poem was dark and filled with emotion whether you were feeling this way or not, it's not easy to carry the feeling of emotion on the words of a poem but you did an excellent job of it , I'll be looking out for more for sure well done you did a first class job

Grant

Wow, this was amazing... I don't know what other words to use to describe this poem.
10/10

These kinda poems aren't really my thing, but that being said, i don't dismiss work just cos it doesn't fit my taste...

...i do think it flowed very well and the had good imagery, but i don't really read this kinda stuff too often, so i don't know what to look for

Hmm .. isnt it strange how . after you've read a poem you really liked,
you sit down and actuallly think .. "i have no clue where to begin with! " lol

i mean .. really.. . i'd say that you have a way with words[really] and you kept the flow pretty simple, but packed a punch.
and then i'll go point out my fav. verses..
but you already know that .
now im gonna try NOT to give a line to line interpretation of this poignant poem.seriously.. even though i want to really bad :P.
..
"..Stab my heart with broken glass, let my blood gently spill.
Watch my body as it runs dry, watch my heart beat so still.."

-stab my heart with a broken glass.. how a shattered thing gently tears one into pieces.i love how you used started the whole verse.

"..Open my wrists and pop a vein, let emptiness seep through.."
-cuz all that seems to surround. emptiness.. amazingly done.

"..watch me crawl down on my knees,crawling back to you
Are you scared of what I am?, the monster that you made.
From all the lies, the pain inside is surely not to ever fade.."

-the monster.
i cant emphasize enough on the fact, that this verse paints such a haunting and painful image in my mind.with such simple words.
Brilliant!

"..Tie the noose around my neck, stop me from breathing now.
See the tears in my eyes,I want to cry but I don't know how.
Can you sense the pain I feel, the remorse that lays inside?.."
-very relatable to the previous stanza,carries on well. nicely done.

"..Stab my heart with broken glass, let my body rot away.."
- as much of a poignant write this is .. im gonna say i LOVED it .. i swear .. it sent chillzorz tricklin-ish down my spine-ish.
"stab my heart with broken glass, let my body rot away"
-after reading this,
my 1st thought was, " aah, there's a repitition in the last stanza[sort of]
my 2nd thought was, " wow, its damn nicely done"
my 3rd thought was, " *Spaced Out*"

Honest to my life..
im sorry if i made this long, but this is ust one of those poems that ust, make me think , "damn, i wish i could write like that =/"
you get the idea.
Great Piece,
Loved it.
and i knw that genuine votes are hard to come by, but this one is definately a 5!

~Wake~