Dealing with a suicide life

My friend killed herself
Im trying to get through

I am looking past he old
Trying so hard for new

Everytime I laugh, I eel pain within my soul

Im holding on to life
So that i dont have to go

Everytime I make a joke
Im trying not to cry
But its hard, because i never got to say goodbye

Im blanking out at moments
I cant concentrate at school
Im almost failing my classes
I dont know what to do

The year, when it was young
I was innocent and sweet
A 4.0 student, only one secret i keep

But now deeper in
Im falling apart
I cant feel happiness
Even when im trying

So im hurting deep inside
But my life has just begun
Things have gotten darker
Clouds seem to cover te sun

From my unbroken innocence
Of picking flowers in may
Tomy heart broken, sorrow, dishonest
Its hopeless everyday

From my light skinned face untouched
To this person trying too much
It seems whenever i try to be perfect
It hurts to see I have bad luck

So now you see whats deep in me
Im trying to deal with deah

My friend was stong
She just failed lifes test