Very good poem. I enjoyed the read and felt that it was one of the good freestyle poems.

Still, it all holds me down,
living through the past, and unable to forget

I would watch how you run on like that, and grammar. I know that there are a lot of things that could be improved about this poem...but that is just what I liked about it.

I could say that this needs to be improved, but truth is the only thing that you need to watch is the flow of the poem. it went up and down and up and down. It happens to a lot of poets.

I felt that this was a very well done poem and I gave it a five. It's especially good for a free style.

5/5

Feeling the words of an unwritten song,
a melodious compilation of kismet, love
this cry that has found its way into my heart,
though I know not where this leads, I follow
---Heavy lines, and written perfectly with a vast of descriptive words. Amazingly done indeed. A very great opening, far above the ordinary love poems I have ever read. Nice introduction of how love entered your life. Amazing really.

Reputing in the numbness, where I cannot sense
where I can learn to deal with the shattered remnants
snowflakes cascade onto my face, dazed I stand
what has this piloted to, this place that I have uncovered?
----Very rich vocabs as well, the adjectives used seemed fitted well with the subject. I liked how you narrated each detail very vividly.

Soft portions of your voice remain,
though it gradually fades as the wind chills.
as the brisk cold numbs me, and I clutch all that remains.
They smile as I walk by, the serene atmosphere
-----Superb lines, a very vivid scene was portrayed here just line the rest of the stanzas. You did a marvelous job on this piece. I can tell this line was summarizing the difficulties youre facing on a daily basis yet whenever she enters your mind, everything turned out fine and somehow shes the hope that guides you.

Although I know not where I step,
I follow your voice, your reminiscences,
I follow all that I can forage,
Finally grasping, to find that my body is burning
------These lines could represent so many things in life, it could be holding back to the past or perhaps choosing a wrong decision in life.

Burying the proverbial buzzing of my subconscious,
I'm letting myself go underground, submerge in a comatose
deeper, profound, bottomless, until it has utterly dissolved;
except, you seem to continually find me anywhere I feel
------I will summarize the 3 stanzas, Clinging to the past yet still hoping for a change. No matter how much you try to run from her or from your past, it will still hunt you somehow. This is what I got from this piece.

Overall, Outstanding piece. Brilliant talent. Good Job.

It's a good one. Some of the lines are very good. Nicely constructed poem.

Snowflakes cascade onto my face, dazed I stand
^^ such a sense of innocence here and just pure amazement for a second

Burying the proverbial buzzing of my subconscious,
^^ great imagery here !

i loved it : ) very good job !! idk if you have read the Twilight series but this is something it reminds me of! it is a compliment : ) 5/5

Very unique, 5/5. Em