"But my brain was confusing receptions,"
`Is there a word missing here? Like maybe -consisted of- should be inserted instead of was?

"I confused the two for a stupid mistake,"
`I don't like the comma after comma after comma thing, I think you can take a pause after the every two lines and put a period.

"Running frantically toward your signs,"
`Great usage of the word frantically. :] I wish the vocabulary was like this throughout the entire poem.

"Perhaps they're all beyond comprehension,
Am I failing to read between the lines?"
`I loved the ending! Great job!

I thought you did a decent job, the vocabulary definatly could have been a little better, but it was alright. :] I think that this was a pretty sad poem, love falling apart and all. Anyways, good job. (: 5/5

I think the first stanza was a little weak, the next two were a little confusing and the last two were a little awesome. Strong vocabulary towards the end.
Well done! 5/5

Hmm, this is a poem that a lot of people could understand and or relate to. It is a sweet and some what sad poem because of the situation.

"Love and play were such similar games" i liked this line because it is true all to often.

great poem, nice flow and wording.
5/5

I surely don't think it's ridiculous...
and what's the problem with being sudden??
it's wonderful to feel inspired... :)
poems written suddenly are sometimes better than the ones people spend days writing...
when you are inspired, you flow with the poem...
(i ought be commenting the poem and not your comment on the poem... yet... i just had to... :) )

i think the poem is beautifully written... it's filled with emotion and flows wonderfully...

yet i don't know why you write commas at the end of a verse... it looks odd...

the last stanza got into me in a quite intersting way

"Now I'm the one pleading for attention,
Running frantically toward your signs,
Perhaps they're all beyond comprehension,
Am I failing to read between the lines?"

"read between the lines" is an expression who states so clearly what guys need to do to understand girls that makes me smile :) ...

a great piece, i must say...

(must check out part 2 ;) )

5/5

*isabel*

First of all the flow here was just flawless which made for an interesting and enjoyable read.

1st Stanza.
I loved how you just jumped into what you had to say which made this stanza more powerful and made me eager to see how the poem would play out. I could already feel the emotions you expressed and you choice of words here got your messge across flawlessly.

"But my brain was confusing receptions"
^This was so unique and worded nicely. I just loved how it rolled off my tongue when I read it out loud. Well said.

2nd Stanza.
I loved the deeper meaning you expressed here because it wasnt obvious on the surface but actually made me think which was great! The flow was flawless without anything seemin forced or out of place. Your use of emotion here was great and I could tell it came straight from your heart.

"I pushed without seeing that we'd break,"
^Wow...although this was simple in wording, it was immense in emotion. Oh boy could I relate with this and you worded it so beautifully yet full of heartache. Sometimes things happen beyond our control but when we can correct our mistakes the one we've hurt forgives us, then we know its meant to be.

3rd Stanza.
This was so sad! Again what emotion you evoke with your words...it just blows me away! Sometimes we can't see things that are right in front of our eyes and that slowly can bring us to our demise. Sometimes after the deed is done is when we notice what we did and ask ourself "what just happened?"

"Blind to the truth I've eventually lost,"
^Loved the way you worded this!

4th Stanza.
This was my fave stanza! Wow just blew me away with utter brilliance! Everything was worded so nicely and you got what you wanted to say across with ease and beautiful poetic phrases. The flow here was flawless as was your choice of words. I applaud you! :]

"Your tears screamed my name with regret,"
^I lovvveedd this!! It was so unique and I've never seen it said that way before. This line made the poem flawless for me. Well done! :]

5th Stanza:
I loved that you ended with a question because it left me the reader wondering what happens and how this love story ends. Perfect ending stanza bringing it to a nice close yet leaving me wanting more. Flawlessly written.

"Running frantically toward your signs,"
^Beautifull written.

Loved this poem! It was a joy to read.

Well done.
*5/5* :]

I thought what I was doing was right,
I was being led on by my own deceptions,
You held me close to you every night,
But my brain was confusing receptions,

-good start, nothing that grabbed my attention right off the bat, but it was a good start, which is promising.

Love and play were such similar games,
I confused the two for a stupid mistake,
Now my heart is refusing to switch names,
I pushed without seeing that we'd break,

- I pushed without seeing that we'd break. Good line, I enjoyed that way you flipped it and put it that way. Where it gets interesting for me. The play and game line was good, I like this Stanza.

Blind to the truth I've eventually lost,
You watched me slowly tear us apart,
I never noticed you were paying the cost,
Or that I was sacrificing your heart,

-another alright Stanza. The Heart and Apart rythme is used a lot, but I enjoyed it the way you put it. The end Line in this Stanza, sort of doesn't sit well with me..not sure why, just feel odd about it, maybe it's just me.

Your tears screamed my name with regret,
Hoping that I would see them falling,
Your heart knew it would never forget,
Or be deaf to the sound of mine calling,

-Favorite Stanza. The Similie of the deaf heart is really a good one, It's very unique and very well done. Love this Stanza!

Now I'm the one pleading for attention,
Running frantically toward your signs,
Perhaps they're all beyond comprehension,
Am I failing to read between the lines?

-This Stanza was really good. I enjoyed the fact that it was flipped backwards at the end, and now you just cant allow yourself not to read the second part of it. Great way to end it.

All in all the poem was a really good one. I think that the 4th Stanza is absolutely amazing and really love it. The whole poem is well put together and the concept of having your gf do the second part is a very old one, but it doesn't mean that it's not a good one.

I enjoy this poem and feel that it's well thought out, like each word was put in that place for a specific reason, certain parts didn't sit well with me, but for the most part the poem was very well done.

5/5

Fantastic. Wonderful really.

Your tears screamed my name with regret,
Hoping that I would see them falling,
Your heart knew it would never forget,
Or be deaf to the sound of mine calling,

This stanza stuck out to me the most.
i'm a huge sucker for personafication. The way you put ears and a mouth on a heart. Wow nice. 5/5 . i really like this one alot.

To me that is the ultimate task of a poem is to reach the one it was written for I may know everything about iambic pentameter but I know beauty and this poem is beautiful

Nice wording , and the rhymes are really good and seem to flow perfectly . There's really nothing bad to say , 5/5

I love the play on
love and play are such similar games"
this was really good it flowed well and i really liked it and theres nothing wrong with being sudden. i think its sweet