Destructive Beauty

by AngelicDecadence   Oct 30, 2008


In the dark, and in the light;
Across the seas, and across the deep.
Dark flames course through the night;
Soon, out of the core they shall seep.

Destructive beauty;
This element shows.
For this fire, fuels fully;
Forever, as it flows.

Causing light;
As it burns the dark.
This fire shall not bite;
Only leave a slight mark.

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  • 15 years ago

    by ether

    This is wonderful, only one change:
    "Only leave a slight mark."
    Only leave a subtle mark, maybe?
    It sounds a bit more formal.

    Anyway, instead of this being the typical "the river was tranquil" or "trees swaying" type poem this was more raw and truthful. I like that.
    I also really like how you made the descriptions fit into a mini story, it all kept me reading it and liking it.

    A very well deserving A, I must say.
    Sorry this is kind of short, I can't think of anything else to say..
    Oh, I like the use of punctuation a lot.

    5/5

    jess ~

  • 15 years ago

    by dirtyhands

    Yah this was really good,
    and you should have gotten more than A!
    keep up!
    ill be reading
    xD tnx anyways

  • 15 years ago

    by Kimberley

    I know i already commented but personally i think you should have gotten a A++++++ till infinity. 5/5 love ~KM~

  • 15 years ago

    by Kimberley

    Wow. that was really amazing. i really like this poem. makes me really like fire! keep it up! 10/5 ~KM~

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