Simply beautiful.A very heart touching poem that I am sure many can relate to.The flow was smooth and the word choice was good.

"It just gets harder now and then,
Find myself thinking back to when.
When you were here, here with me
And into your eyes I could see."
^Favorite lines.Breathtaking.

-Amber

Beautiful Title, It's a title that keeps you interested just enough and not a title that makes you go, WtF is he talking about.

The Paraphrasing of the stanza's always leads to some goofy ryhme schemes but theres nothing wrong with that,but onto the poem.

Stanza 1:"Lay" Although in the title using it twice as a ryhme in 3 lines is overdoing it, and the feeling that it gave me was forced.
Compliments.
Now we've all read poems where people say, I don't Think I can make it through one more day without you, EtC. but how you say it in the first stanza is a much more original way of saying, AND you incorporated the title into the poem.

Stanza 2.I see what you were aiming for here in the first line, but it feels unnessacary and not very heartfelt, I call it "Deadwood" for words or lines that do not need to be there, and were used to fill up space. Theres nothing to horribly wrong with it, But just maybe try to put emotions before the poem next time, itll sound better anyway.
Compliments:
Wow I loved the synonym of words,

Somewhere up past the sky
Somewhere up so high;

Something so simple that takes catches my eye like that is really good.

Stanza 3.Hubaba ryhme schemes, but I can't tell if I like not telling whats ryhming and what isn't I think I do but some other people might,
Just erm try to keep the ryhmes at the end of the line for other people?
Being very picky here, But I like to use the word "So" in poems over most other conjuctions, and "being verbs,like when you said.
These memories I hold are deep within.
I think it could of been much more emotional with a So instead of an Are. theres nothing wrong with it thats just personal opinion.
I might be reading it wrong but the second line in this stanza feels like deadwood again, I don't feel a very heartfelt connection to the rest of the stanza,
Compliments:Pondering Memories. Who doesn't do that? great way to connect to us.Like i said i think I do like the ryhmes within lines, its just a curveball that most people dont exspect and then they see and they look back and go where the hell did that come from, XD good write.

Stanza 4.I think your missing a word from the first line, The way it sounds it sounds like your talking about it Being hard NOW and it was hard THEN, but if you use "Every" then that would mean that it is in a way always hard NOW and all the "Thens" are hard also,
Nothing wrong with the rest,
Compliments: The ryhming of time, Then and When. Time is a mysterious thing that becomes even more mysterious when put to riddle like poems. Love it.And repeating of Here, in the third line i think just made a Deadly impact , Sounds like you could be saying that while crying and gasping for air, studdering over every word you say. Imagnative thoughts you put in my head. good job.

Stanza 5.I don't get what your saying in the 3rd line it feels as if a lack of words again or a different word was what you were impling,
Fade "From" me or "Fail" me? I don't like cutting words out of poems, It takes some of the emotion away and just gives to the flow of a poem/Sometimes/
In my opinion all it takes for a poem to end with a BOOM is for the last two lines to ryhme, and for the reader to absolutely know that the poem is over, Which I didnt feel here.

Compliments: Then Ratings.
The Time thing I've heard over and over again, but yours It makes something different because of counting down the time, your heart just stopped with time its self,

Ryhme 4/5
Flow 4.5/5
Vocabulary5/5
Emotinality 4.5/5
Overall 4.3/5

A collab poem is quite hard to create i have done a few but to mix two writing styles into one is hard, i found yall did a terrific job may i add breathtaking, my favorite two stanzas were the last two. The only thing that i didnt like about this poem was that it was kinda cliche, good but i didnt feeel as though it was original but i have to say its hard to find a good original love poem

I'll be honest, I'm not really sure what to say. The rhyming was irregular, the flow was definately 'off and on' and there were some repetitions which made the line somehow sound wrong. And yet, I really enjoyed reading it. Everything about this poem works, because it has qualities you can only find in collaborations. Different writing techniques, different words and different language make this poem edgy and original. I particularly liked
'Somewhere up so high;
Where souls collide,
Where I can let go of the grief inside.'
It just sounded so good, there were other outstanding parts as well but I won't list them here.
Overall, great effort from both authors thanks!

Sole x

Romantic poem, I found it beautiful.
I like that it was written so simpley and ryhmed so well, for me thats talented.
But I don't know about the flow, sometimes it was hard to read like it was chocking, maybe it was because the poem had 2 writers.
Sorry, but I felt a bit lack of passion also in it, maybe you should try bringing in some moments you shared with this person, right now it's all about your emotions towards the loved one.
I see that the other writer is female, like got me thinking that maybe the poem is tiny bit about you two missing each other. Because that person death didn't have significant meaning well it just looked to me so, because you are more focused about how you wanna be with that person and the feelings you have. I might be completely wrong like usual, but I understood it so.
But overall I really liked it.
5/5

Wow, amazing that this is the first poem that I have read since my grandmother passed away and its about the loss of a loved one... sometimes you have to wonder..

Anyway, the ryme scheme stayed preasent throught the entire poem. The rythm was on target and as I read through this poem i coudl get a clear image in my mind of what you were talking about. I could relate to what you were saying and it alamost made me cry. You have such stong emotions in here.

My favorite lines are:
Months, weeks, and days; hours, minutes, and seconds.
Time's passing by, however; my heart's stopped in time.

I feel the same way

Well Written
Darkcrystalbtrfy

"It just gets harder now and then,
Find myself thinking back to when.
When you were here, here with me
And into your eyes I could see."
^This has to be my favorite part. It's so well written. It nearly perfectly describes how I feel sometime.^ Everyone has lost some one, Joe. I know that you don't know me, but I, myself, have lost a few people to cancer. 'Tis a horrible feeling. But it does get better. I promise. If ever you need to talk to someone, I'm here. Maybe, sometimes, it's better to talk to someone you don't know. Anyway, this poem, however sad, is amazing. Very well written, to both of you. Keep it up.
=5/5=
~Bella<3