Really good poem, and i like the feeling and depth in it. kudos to you. lol. I like the part where you beg for gods help but he doesn't. that is close to the bible, when the rich man asks the poor man to dip his finger in water and touch the tip of the rich mans toung. good job, and I hope to read more. your friend - AaronJoshua

Good poem the imagery was good and the flow and the structure was really good. The emotion in the poem was really good and thats what makes it such a good place.