How sad this is. Cannot image how that mother must feel. You kept me in suspense until close to the end and the ending was shocking. Good job.

You should write novels. I enjoyed this read. Like a suspense novel from beginning to end. I read wanting more.

I think that this was the most saddest poem I have ever read on this sight. I could really feel the depth of emotion and sadness in your words. The rhyme and flow were great. And the ending was shocking, which is good for a writer, to keep you in suspence and give an ending you don't expect. 5/5

"He sits alone in his room, looking over who he'd choose
It didn't matter, because of what he had to lose."

^This confused me at first, but I gather that he was choosing between his parents?

"He was the oldest of the family and was sure that was a factor
for his brother and sister, he was playing the role of an actor."

^These lines show that this child had to often comfort the little ones and most likely tell them lies about what was really going on and pretending that everything was okay; acting

"If only his father and mother would just come to see
that being with one and other was just meant to be.

He was sure that they were the ones for each other
then they could be a family, with his real father and mother."

^These lines show the typical mindset of a child. Their parents are supposed to be together! That's just how it works and how it has to be because they're perfect for each other.

"How could he show them that this was meant to be
that's it, the family just needed another baby."

^And this shows the solutions that children will come up with to save their family, but it usually doesn't work, and in this case I might even go as far to say that bringing a baby into this broken family might even make matters worse.

"Off to the pharmacy store he went with his little note
with a blue crayola crayon "I'm pregnant" he wrote."

^I like the 'blue crayola crayon' part, but I the note thing confuses me. Why is he bring this note to the pharmacy, and why exactly does it say "I'm pregnant"? I don't understand.

"She seen a little boy at the very last second"

^'Seen' should be changed to 'saw'.

"She had failed as a wife, a mother and a lover
no longer would she use the torn mother for cover."

^I really liked these lines. She's failed at everything, and now because of how much of a failure she is, her son is dead.

The ending was a nice but tragic twist, and I did not quite expect it, so well done. Great write. :)

This is really emotional , like almost tear jerking . Very well done . The flow was a little off again , or maybe it's just me , but this one deserves a 5/5

I liked the message of the piece, but I think the scheme of the poem could've been arranged better.

I understand the couplets and all, but I don't think it really fit this kind of emotion. The flow was lacking, because of the rhyming scheme, and it almost seemed a little forced. Not all poems have to rhyme, but you still did a good job with the vocabulary.

4/5 Keep at it, cause I like your work anyway haha :)

Awwww, this is sad. :[ You did a good job at pulling at emotions. This stuff happens with a lot of families. Good job.

5

Wow...*claps for you* This was such a good poem. But also a good story. Each line builds on to the one before it making a very interesting story. This one is my favorite so far. Very detail poem you wrote it. Thanks for sharing :) Nik

Wow been a while since I've had a chance to get on here and read some of your newer stuff! Still making masterpiece's I see! lol

I loved this... I literally cried. Filled with emotion and a tragic ending. A poem that gets you lost in contemplation and sadness. Amazing. 5/5