It's beautiful, Kel..but it's only a poem, not something that really happened, right? ;)

Hugs,

5/5 Ingrid

I wouldn't doubt that the forbidden fruit does taste the sweetest, but the question is how long does that taste last? I'm not sure I'm willing to give up forever for something that doesn't compare at all.... I guess everybody has they're own temptation. Great job expressing yourself once agin I enjoyed this piece as well 5/5 GG23

This one lusty poem indeed.. I can feel the lustful burning desire when i read this poem...
I really enjoy ur work

keep it up;)

Men this is absolutely okay how do i contest like you do too.

Can you pls led me through

What a great poem.. and its true isnt it? We always want what we cant have.. 'forbidden fruit tastes the sweetest'
We never seem happy with what we can have... because the things that are off limits are so much funer to chase right? :P
Very nicely written.
Keep up the great work.
5/5

Amazing poem... This is a poem that has taken you to a different territory... Now you can find yourself placed with the other best poets on his site. You have turned a senior for me through this poem. Wonderful poem.

Regards,
Bhavin

Awsome poem 5/5

"My heart was already taking
When you came along my way, yet
Never dear thinking about the consequence
Of my action before I act,
believing that life without temptation
Would be only an imitation of living,
Looking at you the road to sin begins
In my thoughts"

First line: "Taking" should be "Taken".

Another thing I noticed, that throughout this piece, at the beginning of each line, sometimes the first letter is capitalized, other times its not. My advice would to capitalize all of that.

"Gazing at this tempted fire
I've all forgotten about the danger of might getting burn"

First line: To me it would make more sense to change "tempted" to "tempting", just my opinion though.
Second line: "burn" should be "burned"

"And have no control over my desire to touch
it's like a golden delightful apple that attracts me and
I was tempted to give it a try"

Beautiful wording, and you express yourself well in this.

"In a world of good and bad
Makes me believe that the
Forbidden fruits taste the sweetest,
Pushes me to venture
In your fairy dangerous territory
It's like holding a desire for long to be giving
A chance to deliver my entire being
I came to the realm of energetically freedom
Releasing enormous physical and mental
Desire
Your presence makes me lost into a world
Where the reality is just an illusion"

Wow, this is so straightforward, detailed and deep. Great work!

"Returning to my normal life, all I can say lusting after
You is my sweetest mistake one that pushes me to break promises that i've made."

"i've" should be "I've"
Otherwise what emotion is spilling out, your wording is just superb! Great work, just fix those errors I pointed out and this will be even greater! Take care, 5/5 from me..

What attracts me to this poem more than anything is it's emotional honesty and it's physical intensity.

Mm a hard one to coemtn on kelly , waht can i say , ti si the forbiden thgins in this world that are the msot wanted and desired and it si up to us to fight the temptation , and right or wrong are relative to our daily presepectives ,

someone right can be wrong for antoher and someone wrong can be right for someon else

it si all a heart thgin kelly he tell us what is right or worng and our mind judge our situation .

this was liek a free verse , and even i am a rhyming kidn of poet , i enjoyed reading this one

i can give you hints to fix the structure of stanzas and put some rhyming it would give the poem more impact .

but the flow adn expression were perfect ^_^

great one kelly bravo