Comments : What is life?

  • 15 years ago

    by Ingrid

    How very beautiful CJ..it made me smile on the Christmas morning:)
    In life we take the bitter with the sweet and hope that the sweet will by far overrrule the bitter, don't we?

    Hugs to you, my friend

    5/5 Ingrid

  • 15 years ago

    by Nee

    Oh my god, this is really cool =)
    I love it a lot..there are several lines that have attracted me..

    You cannot see the beauty of the beast
    Or to understand some of it meaning at least
    Sometimes it takes more than a look
    To see what life give you and what it took

    This stanza was my favorite, indeed we never really look deeply at what life gives and takes from us..that was full of wisdom =)

    I love the simplicity in this piece, however I have to comment on some of your grammar mistakes :

    That teach(es) us all how to not be a fool

    You are to handle more than you[r] share

    To see what life g[i](a)ve you and what it took

    Every tear you[r] shed and every smile you give

    But each of us ride(s) it his own way

    Letters in (..) should be added
    Letters in [..] should be removed
    Although I'm not sure about what you meant in the last line of the first stanza.

    Anyway the poem was great overall =)
    I love it
    write on

  • 15 years ago

    by Mary

    Wow!!! great poem
    I really liked it because of the meaning behind it and becasue of the flow.. It was very short and simple but it had a very good meaning behind it........keep it up
    Great Job :D

  • 15 years ago

    by X Harlea X

    This was excellent Cj, absoultly excellent. everyone has their own way and live their own lives. ((5)) great job
    harlea

  • 15 years ago

    by nina

    As always it's a great poem
    like the great person that you are
    it looks that it has been wrote by a child in the first
    than by a very old wise man
    i loved it
    keep going :::: and the way ur riding the wave is very tallented when it comes to poems
    lol
    i don't like ""dyoun""
    so i payed

  • 15 years ago

    by ether

    Your title annoys me, it should just be "What is life?".
    Aaaand you need punctuation at the end of your lines.
    Also, watch you don't fall into too many cliches in your poetry. The whole 'what is life' is always going to be a cliche, but you can twist it to make it your own a bit more than you have here.
    School and fool is a not that great of a rhyme, just on the side.
    Hmm.
    Sorry this is so harsh, I do agree with what you're saying in there.

  • 15 years ago

    by ether

    You'll handle more than your share.
    instead of
    You are to handle more than your share.

    Every tear and every smile you give.
    Instead of
    Every tear you shed and every smile you give.

    "But each of us rides it his own way."
    Each of us rides it our own way.

    I know I'm not a boy and I am in this thing called life, therefore, I believe I should be included ;p

    Just watch your filler words, like "the" "and" "but", you can cut them down and still have the poem make sense.
    I think that's about all I have to add.